Don't waste your time, I know whats on your mind

Today is one of those "listen to Prince" days. Sunny out, walked to the green line this morning and sat next to a totally insane guy who eventually got kicked off. Been enjoying a very quiet day at work. So back to what I did this weekend, because you know, its oh so important.

Saturday I did nothing. Yup. I ran 7 miles, napped, got some food at the store, then sat at home alone and watched two more mumblecore movies. One was ehhh (LOL) and one was actually pretty good (Mutual Appreciation). I probably liked Mutual Appreciation mostly because the lead dude, Alan (who happens to be in the band Bishop Allen) is really cute. Look:



Don't you just wanna tousle that hair some more? I do. Only problem is he has that angle prob - you know - where you look horrid from certain angles. It is an affliction of which I also suffer.

Sunday I went to Trader Joe's with new Edward. Then I returned home, took a super long nap on accident, read some more of Miranda July's No one belongs here more than you (yeah yeah quit with your literary snobbishness, I'm embarrassed enough already). Then new Edward came back at 6 to make turkey burgers and salad. We watched the Hype Williams best of DVD which had the most insane R Kelly video on it for "half on a baby." Then we watched Pootie Tang. I've never seen it before. It was pretty dumb but in the fun way. Wanda Sykes was good. We never made the meal because we weren't hungry. Whoops.

My air conditioning is broken at my place and its getting really hot. It's annoying because I don't get much of a cross wind in the place to cool it down, and Audrey goes insane when the windows are open. She kept me up all night.

Weekend Update

Friday I didn't do too much - watched that film down below and went to bed. Saturday was my first meeting with the marathoners, which you can read about here, and trust me its big news! I came home, napped, got a call from new Edward who wanted to hang out. We've never hung out alone before so I was a bit nervous at first. Instead, it was totally awesome. We went to Tuman's, talked about our favorite books, then about our favorite movies, agreed to do some movie exchanges, talked about our love for the Talking Heads, and I also learned that he is also totally obsessed with R Kelly!!! I told him I went to his concert and he was like "omg the double up tour!! REAL TALK!" Amazing. We ended the night with a few hours of katamari with Jacob and Wendy, drinking Relax brand wine. Frankie told us to.

Today was home improvement day. I went to Home Depot to buy a ton of shit, and to Joann. Nate came over and helped me set it all up while watching baseball.

Accomplished:

1. Frosted glass window film on the windows, and so far I'm really happy I did it. I can keep the blinds open and see the trees but not have Audrey constantly flipping out at anything on the street.

2. "Art" in the kitchen - bought these printed paper sheets at Joann, stripes, dots, whatever patterns, put them in various frame sizes and hung them in the kitchen. It actually really helps that drab room.

3. New shower head. My old one had good water pressure but I didn't like the way the water was distributed if that makes sense. So now I have a new one that does a better job.

Not accomplished:

1. Undercabinet lighting did not get installed. We started working on it, but felt like it was maybe too complicated. I'm going to force Paul to do it when he visits me in two weeks (sorry Paul).

2. Hooks for my hair dryer and flat iron in the bathroom. I guess I don't have the right drill bits or something to do it. Nate has to bring his back to finish that.

this post brought to you by a bus commute

On my lovely bus ride home, I thought a lot about stuff. I do this on every bus ride when I'm not reading or sleeping. Today I thought about how unhealthy it is to hold onto the bitterness and anger surrounding "your lot in life" when you have no control over anything (or anybody) but your own outlook. Meaning, we all have shit that we can't change, people we can't change, life events we can't change, but we can change how we react to them, deal with them, and learn from them. I'm working on that, and on not letting negative energy about trivial shit consume me. It may be a form of denial to just refuse to listen to negative stuff, but its working for now. I don't see much wrong with just doing what I think is good for me and saying fuck it to everything else, again for now. Obviously I still maintain obligations (I pay bills, get wedding gifts for people), but you get the deal. I think.

On the bus ride to work I had a much more pleasant thought process. I thought about how a cute dude on a bus can be ruined because he folds the cover of his book over so he can read with one hand. Mutiny! Mutilation! It hurts me to see books all bent up like that. Plus it means I can't figure out what book the bro is reading.

It was really nice after work today. I walk past this garden store every day and every day I think "I'll go in and get a windowsill plant." I never do. Today I stepped in and the experience was intense. Apparently what I wanted was like asking for cancer to be cured tomorrow. I wanted a rectangular box to put on my windowsill, on the inside. I wanted plants that would grow in it to grow at least 12 inches high so Audrey couldn't peek over them to bark at the passers-by. It would help if they weren't all green - color would be nice. I also wanted something that was idiot proof, as I've never kept a plant alive. Well, no go. Turns out bigger plants need bigger pots. Whoops. I felt really stupid. So I spent 45 minutes trying out different arrangements with different pots until the third employee there said, "you know you can buy frosted glass window film and just plop it on the window." Oh. Duh. A much cheaper and easier solution. How did I not think of that sooner? So after 45 minutes, I left with just one peace lily in a cute square pot. It's on my kitchen table. We shall see how long it lives. This weekend I'll stop by the Home Depot and get the frosted film stuff.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my apartment? Because I still do. Windows were open today and it was great. Having my own private entrance rules too.

Weekend Update

I had a really busy weekend. I was supposed to go out Friday, but I fell asleep early in the evening. By the time I woke up I decided it was better to just sit around inside and watch BSG (awesome episode by the way). I also watched My Kid Could Paint That, a documentary about a 4 year old painter that people go nuts over. It was great. The plot was really interesting, but the documentary style was done really well. Good story arc, good set up of plot, good intersection between the director's interference and the family's opinions. It was just really well done. I think my doc film class for helping me gain a better eye for what makes a documentary 'good'.

Saturday morning I had to run, then I had to race over to get my haircut and colored (looks awesome), then run home to snarf some food down before my new pals Jennifer and Edward (another Ed!) picked me up to go to roller derby. Roller derby was pretty fun. The place was packed, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. It took me a minute to get a grip on the circular motion, but I eventually got the hang of how its done. We drank budweisers and cheered for any team at any time. Jen and I also found out we know all the same people back in SF, which is super disturbing.

After derby, I had to race home, change, and race to the Beat Kitchen to see Dialogue play their last show. There were a lot of people there, which was good for the band. I did ok I think, only felt like people were looking at me like I had a goiter on my face for a little bit (which is a major improvement, thanks therapy!). Hopefully a few more times out and I'll be totally back to normal, but I don't know. It's hard to not have alcohol as a crutch for small talk.

Today I went out to the suburban retreat to obtain a tv/media stand/console thingy. I also brought Audrey to let her run wild in the backyard with three beagles. Audrey seemed to like Arthur, the beagle Natalie and Matt are fostering. Auds got the dogs all riled up, and she was even rolling around on her belly with them. She never plays like this - in a submissive position. I was proud of her! She seems a little less wound up now, but still sort of wild.

Andy helped me bring the furniture up the stairs at my place, and helped me lug the behemoth tv onto the top of it. Then I hooked everything up. It has little cut outs for all the cords, so it looks really clean compared to my old crap. The wood is a lighter shade than what I have in my place, but whatever, it was free and is a major upgrade from what I had. It makes me feel like the room is put together better, and I was able to use the old crap in my storage/office room to get junk off the ground. I also did laundry and dishes. Lots of stuff.

I still really need to work on my kitchen. Maybe that will be my project next Sunday - to install under cabinet lighting, get some crap on the wall, maybe find a cool fabric to make a table cloth to spruce it up a bit.

In cool news, I've lost half an inch on my hips and thighs, and 3/4ths an inch on the ole gut! Yeahhhh (said Rick Ross style). Running rules! I'm feeling better physically and emotionally from it, and I often get the itch to run now. I never dread having to do it.

Monday I really need to call comcast and cancel their asses now that my DSL is working well. Its supposed to be really warm, so my run should be fun. I would have liked a third day on this weekend because it was so busy, but I'll live. Being busy means less time to fester in my own brain.

Always elegant, always refined

A few glasses of wine and boredom, and I decided to take some photos of my place. It may be a better idea to do it during the daytime, but I'm lazy and had the gumption to do it now, late at night. click here to see most of the place. What's missing is: close-ups of the kitchen because I've done absolutely zilch in there yet, and also my office/storage zone because its currently a giant dumping ground that I haven't organized yet. Despite those two rooms, I feel like I've done a decent job for living here only 3 weeks.

Also, check out my lil pupperoni:



Oh wee lil pup, you are always here for me and are my bestest friend on earth. You're sorta stupid sometimes, but always a lover.

And P.S. today wasn't really any easier.

This must be the place

I remember when I moved from the dank pit apartment on Guerrero to the awesome apartment on Potomac in San Francisco. It was as if I went to some hot springs fancy-pants spa. I felt instantly better and rejuvenated. That same feeling is going on with my current place. The days of nasty-land are behind me, and my spacious, high-ceilined, wood-floored, cozy, perfect apartment is all I can see. Even my new landlords are good! When I moved in there was only ONE lock - on the outer door (that is mine and mine alone!) and you could easily break this window in the door and unlock it. So I asked them to get me another lock on the main apartment door, and voila! I return home to a lock. They are also getting a plumber out here to up the heat on my shower. Responsive landlords? Been awhile since I've seen you.

Audrey has adjusted well to the new place, and barks far less now that she can't hear and see everything on the street. She seems happy. I don't have the dog walker back yet, but that's ok I could use a bit of a break paying him. Speaking of dogs, there's a huge dog show here this weekend and I really want to go. I've never been to one and I bet it'll be awesome in its dorky-dogness.

I'm going to write a bit about it on GCU later, but whoa mama The Terror Dream by the beloved Susan Faludi is incredible. It's basically just one anecdote, quote, and fact after another about the return to masculinity and the disavowal of feminism post 9-11, but the information is infuriating and astounding. It's a nice contrast to Feminine Mystique, but I'll have to save that for the other blog.

My internet (Comcast) still isn't functioning beyond 9:30 pm. Anybody else having this problem? I thought it would go away when I moved, but it didn't. It makes it really difficult for me to do shit, since most of my stupid blogging time comes later in the evening.

I made it!

Made it to the new place!!! Love it!! Cable guys came today so its all fixed up. Everything rules with this place - I love the layout, the bathroom is nice, the sunlight from the big NEW windows (read: no drafts) is great, its just awesome. I need to finish unpacking my clothes, get a new entertainment/tv stand and a rug for the living room but then I'm all set. Oh wait, I also need a recliner-esque chair for this extra space that will be perfect for reading.

Hiring movers was so great - they took two hours, were fast, professional, worthy of a five star Yelp review. I am not sore or tired or beat up from moving. I will never ever move myself again.

I'll take photos once I get the rug and everything set up.

box tower

I'm in the midst of a tower of small, medium, and large u-haul brand boxes. I had no idea how bad dust can get behind bookshelves that you haven't moved in two years! It almost makes me want to return to my < 12 months per apartment time frame just to get rid of that dust. I'm also throwing away things that are so ancient, like some old old dog food that I got when I got audrey over 2.5 years ago! Granted it was canned or fancy stuff the adoption place gave me, but still gross. I threw out her pedialyte too because she doesn't get the doggy runs anymore.

I'm super nervous but also excited, which leaves my stomach a mess. This time tomorrow I'll be in my new place and nearly settled, just have to remember that its only a few hours away. This may be my easiest move yet because its a short distance and I have movers this time.

I stopped by the new place this afternoon with Nate. He liked it, and I liked it even more than last time I saw it. The fridge is totally disgusting inside, but I can clean it. The bathroom floor and shower are a bit grody too.

Long Overdue Update

A combination of being super busy as well as having really shitty internet at home has kept me away from here and my dear side-project, GCU. Without getting too into it, last week my landlord and I really had it out, culminating with him yelling, "Missy you don't know who you are dealing with! You don't want to mess with me!" Uhh... actually I do but I don't have the mental energy. Instead I showed my apartment to about 8 people, and got it rented to someone else. So I'm moving out! I also found a new place within the same week. The landlord of that place rented it to somebody but found some red-flags on the guy so he withdrew it. Gave it to me instead yay! I'm super happy - it'll be closer to the train I take to work, to the restaurants I go to regularly, to Nate, to a spankin' new grocery store. It'll be good. It's on the second floor, has central heat and a/c, dishwasher, a normal sized bathroom, bedroom, living room, den/office, kitchen, hardwood floors...pretty much everything I wanted. I can't wait to decorate! I have movers coming on Saturday to do my dirty work. I've never hired movers before, so I have a mixture of stress about them messing up and relief that I don't have to do it myself in February. This will be my 9th apartment since I was 19. I'm 26 (and a half!) now. With each one I say "this is it until I own" and so far that hasn't happened.

Aside from crazy home stress, I've had an ok time. Went to a show that my coworker was playing with my boss and my student worker. That was really fun. I also decorated cookies at Natalie's house with Nate and their friend Kim on Saturday. Went to a surprise birthday party for Amanda where I had some quality talking with Andy. I feel like I'm missing something huge here...oh yes! Film school.

Tonight was my second film class at Facets. The first one was about the hybrid documentary The Kid Stays in the Picture. The teacher is a really nice woman who runs some pretty decent film fests. There are 7 people in the class, and they are all from a wide variety of backgrounds. One guy even owns his own high-rise window washing company! It was a reminder to me that even the most 'normal' people out there can be super cool too. I was put in my place. This week we watched Touching the Void, which is a super intense hybrid documentary. Next week is a film I've seen before but slept through, In the Realms of the Unreal. I'll be interested to see what the 'expert' says. So far, I've held my own on film and documentary knowledge, so I'm pretty proud of my self-education in the film world. It's so nice to be out doing something that is 'my own' and is different and interesting. It's a refreshing way to start the week, spending my Monday night in a tiny film house talking about my passion - documentaries. I'll have to get more involved with this kind of stuff. I've been saying I want to go to the experimental night at the Siskel Arts Theater but never seem to make it.

So it's been a wildly busy few weeks. Saturday I move, Sunday I unpack, Monday my cable guys come, then hopefully by Monday night I'll be mostly moved in. I'm so excited about it I can barely sleep or concentrate on anything.

What a day

Today has to be one of the strangest days I've had since my robbery a few years ago. Wednesdays I work 11-7, so I was still in bed a little before 9 and I kept hearing beeping. It sounded like it was outside so I ignored it, until at 9 I heard sirens outdoors. I peeked out the window, and saw 3 firetrucks. Then I saw all the firemen and women coming in my building. Uh ohhh...I realized it smelled a little odd in my apartment, but it wasn't hot or smokey. Regardless, I decided to get me and Audrey out of here and see what is going on. I went out a lower level door, and up these side stairs, and saw that the apartment one floor up from mine (which is actually first level, remember I'm in the basement) was all smokey. The firepeople were cutting down the ceiling of the apartment and throwing smoldering black wood and ceiling tiles out of the apartment windows. The apartment above that one had all the windows open too, but nothing being thrown out of it. My neighbor across the hall (so right below the one on fire), came out too and we both sort of gawked together.

It didn't seem too dangerous, so I wandered up the stairs to look in the apartment. The whole ceiling was black and there was ash everywhere on the floor. I asked one of the fire women what happened and she said that a ceiling fan ignited an electrical fire. Yikes! A ceiling fan can do that much damage? The lady said that my apartment was fine to go back into, so I went in and sort of freaked the hell out.

My apartment, which only last week I was blogging about how much I hate it, may now have tied or topped the Robbery Place for shittiest apartment ever. I called 311, the info line for Chicago, at the advice of a friend who said I needed to get a city inspector out just to make sure everything is ok. First, the man who answered 311 fucking called me baby when I was trying to explain my story: "Hold on baby, let me get to my desk" (why wasn't he at his desk???). He then transferred me to someone who said "aw no gotta transfer you to xyz." OK, so went there, talking and the phone call dropped. Called back that number, got a new guy, who said that 311 shouldn't have given out the number, and that I should have a trouble ticket number, which I never got. So he transfers me elsewhere. Finally I get an answering machine, where I leave my story and hang up totally pissed off at bureaucracy. Several minutes later a city electrical inspector called me back and said he'd be over in half an hour. He was very nice, which helped me hate the city less. Somewhere between the call and his arrival a henchmen for my landlord showed up to survey the situation. There were cops here too. The electrician shows up, takes photos for the cops of the fire damage, checks out our electrical boxes (which he said are way not up to code), and checks out my place at my request. He said that my heating unit is a hazard, but I already knew that. The good thing is that he put it in the write-up violation thinger for the landlords. That means that the landlords will have to fix my heater or else.

So I spent the morning amidst chaos. I have 8-12 weeks left here, and am so fucking sick of it. And now, not only am I sick of it, but I also get to be afraid that I'll explode at any moment. And I'm reminded of how fucked the world is that someone who makes ok money can't afford to move out of her slum apartment (think Nickel and Dimed), and how everyone else on earth seems to think its just so f-in easy to up and move. It's not. I don't have savings and I don't have family to turn to. I saved up for over a year so I can move out of here. It was hard work and I'm proud of it. But the financial/class rant is for another day.

So around 1 I smacked myself. I mean really, I'm not the one who just lost their apartment. I still have a place to rest my head, my dog and I are alive, my few possessions are safe. I feel really bad for my neighbors who are probably stuck in some hotel and all stressed out.

At 2, I got to meet my dog walker. Many months ago Andrew quit so the agency had to assign a new dude to me. The lights are out in the hallway as a result of the fire, so he had to wander in in the dark. He knocked because he knew I was inside, and was like "lady are you ok?" In a Jamaican accent. My new dog walker is this 40-something rastafarian. Amazing! He baby-talked Audrey, took her for a walk, and then brought her back. He told me he carried her home because she was too cold to walk and he immitated her goofy walk. Dude is a good guy!

But the day doesn't end there. I take a nap and enjoy the Golden Girls in an effort to relax a bit. Wake up a few hours later, check my work email, and that woman that has caused me all the stress at work finally figured it out and resigned. So the next few months at work will be totally crazy. I can't really talk about any of it here however.

The day ended with Nate coming over. We ordered pizza, I got a good back rub, and we watched mythbusters. It was nice.

I wonder what new random shit will occur tomorrow.

my apartment is going to kill me

I have between 12-14 weeks left in this hell hole my landlords call a 1 bedroom + den. This morning I was enjoying the extra lay-in-bed time because I didn't have to work. Audrey and I were snuggled up under the electric blanket. The one source of heat in my apartment - this wall unit heater that should probably explode at any point, turns on. It's humming along, blowing dusty gross air all over as it always does, when it starts to sound like it's dying. It gets really quiet and sorta groans. Then I hear BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! Lots of little beeps, that I can only assume is my carbon monoxide meter going off, so I freak out. This is the end. I'm going to die at 7 am on a cold January morning in a garden apartment in Chicago. Alone with just my dog.

Thankfully this thought only lasted a few moments, as the beeping stopped and the heater came back on. When I finally got out of bed at 9, I noticed that my microwave's clock had been restarted, which means there must have been a power surge or brown-out or something in my building. That made me feel a lot better...until I realized that both my carbon monoxide detector and fire alarm are not working because I had to take the batteries out because they go off anytime I turn on my oven. This place is AWESOME.

My apartment is second only to the lovely shitbag on Guerrero in SF, where:

-We had an invasion of grain weevils that forever prevented us from having any rice or pasta
-We had an ant invasion
-We had no heat for over a month in the middle of winter
-We had mice
-and oh yes WE GOT FUCKING ROBBED BY A 40 YEAR OLD FEMALE CRACKHEAD IN OUR HOUSE WHEN WE WERE ASLEEP.

And this place is a close close second. In my nearly two years here, I:

-had some rat/squirrel/something chew through the wood surrounding the pipes to my kitchen sink and eat all my dog food in the middle of the night
-have these weird ass bugs, whose name escapes me currently, swarm my apartment every summer
-gnats, gnats everywhere in spring
-the occasional fly invasion, even in mid-winter
-a wall unit heater that really must be illegal and should explode at any moment
-a dishwasher that was full of standing water for 9 months
-a neighbor who has a dog named HAPPY that has attacked my dog twice
-the worlds smallest bathroom that is also pretty funky


Thank god I have my money saved up to move when my lease ends on April 30th. Every day here is another day I want to firebomb my landlord's office.

Also, another reason I thought I was going to die today was that the owner of my dog walking company came in my apartment. Normally my guy Ken comes, but I told them to cancel for Monday due to my day off. I guess they didn't get the message because around 1:30 Audrey starts freaking the hell out. I'm zoning out on the couch in front of some mid-90's Law and Order episode, shouting vainly at the dog, when MY DOOR OPENS UP. I freak out as I see a man walking in, but somehow only muster a "Oh no!" like some Victorian-era damsel in distress. It turns out to be the owner of the dog walking company, whom Audrey hasn't seen in awhile. Audrey pisses everywhere and freaks out. Once the confusion was settled and he left I took a lovely 3 hour nap. Just me, my terrifying wall heater and a totally riled up dog who farted in my face while we were spooning.

I'm tired of living alone and always having to take care of myself. I want my Grown Up Life to start soon please.