the human fund

You know that Seinfeld episode where George gives people fake gifts that say "a donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund"? If you don't it's right above this sentence. The Human Fund is "money for people." I'd like some of that right now. Audrey had her annual vet visit which includes various vaccines and prescriptions for flea/tick/heartworm meds, and a poo sample. She cried the whole time and had to be muzzled again. She shed everywhere - the hair was coming off in clumps. It was heartbreaking to see her so upset. The price of this experience? $400. Four.hundred.dollars. I had to charge it. It'll be months before I have this gone. I hate that just when I'm about to make a dent in debt I have some huge bill. I'm also paying a bunch for a ticket to New York in October. I'm accepting human fund donations.

Audrey's lucky I love her so much and have a super awesome time on our awesome walks and dog park visits with her and Nate. Otherwise she'd be working the corner to pay me back. She's a cute bitch, many a stud would take her.

What can 400 dollars get me?
-four months of therapy
-half of the HDTV I desperately want
-a plane ticket to San Francisco for a trip I desperately need
-the arm chair I want for cozy reading time
-1.5 night stands
-over 200 cups of coffee from a coffee shop which would be almost a year of coffee before work
-a new fall wardrobe

These will all have to be put off now. Boo.

blast off

I ran 9 miles this morning and may want to die a little bit. I have to go to the store and I keep putting it off. I finally got Audrey's nails cut but it took a deep sense of obligation and guilt to get her the 5 blocks to the doggy salon. I had ole single-teardrop-tatoo-under-eye lady again! She's funny.

Yesterday was a long long day. I barely had any sleep on Thursday night so waking up at 5:30 and heading out for a 3 hour drive at 6 a.m. was not pleasant. Then to sit in a windowless conference room for hours, only to sit back in the car for another 3 hours...it sucked. By the time I got the rental car back and got home on the train it was after 8 pm. I was in bed and passed out by 9:30 so the entire day was a total waste.

I'd like to go out tonight but I'm so tired right now I don't know if I'll be able to do it. If I don't go anywhere it'll mean I didn't do anything all weekend.

lost in the clouds

Yesterday I took new Edward (I should figure out a better way to differentiate him from good ole Eddie) to his first White Sox game. We met up at the Billy Goat for drinks beforehand. I thought it was sort of strange going there just for drinks but apparently its pretty normal as it was busy in there. We ran into a ton of people he knows through literary circles. We got to the game and found good seats downstairs, ate hot dogs, drank beer, the usual. Eventually met up with Miller who had even better seats and stuck it out until the end of the 11th inning. It was after 11 pm and on a work night so we gave up. The game ended up going 15 innings so it was probably a good idea.

I got home and took Audrey out. She was terrified of the lightning and kept running under people's fences! She's never done that before. She also absolutely refused to crap. Her loss - she went 24 hours without doing it when she normally does it 2-3 times a day. So there you have my dogs shit schedule.

Tomorrow is the Sleep Out CD release which will no doubt prohibit my ability to wake up at 5:15 for marathon training Saturday. Prior to the show I'm going to get together with new E and Andy for dinner at Fernandos. Usually leads to a beautiful hot mess afterwards. As a result I'll be joining the Sunday group for my 8 mile run. Lets hope they aren't losers. I like my Saturday group. Then I get a long overdue haircut. Exciting.

yes, no, maybe so

Argh, so much going on but so little motivation to blog. Between running, reading (yes I have been reading), birthday plan prepping, visitors visiting, baseballing, dinnering, I'm pooped at the end of the day. Yesterday bestie Paul from Minneapolis spent the day with me. It was everything we had hoped for - rainy outside so we didn't feel guilty for being lazy, cozy inside so we loved watching episode after episode of the golden girls while eating total crap. We also watched 4 episodes of Cops and some show about women's prisons. Paul also installed all my undercabinet lighting that Nate and I had been having trouble with. It looks so so good now, and makes my place feel a lot cozier. Who knew that task lighting and non-ceiling lighting could make such a difference? Best Sunday Ever. I wish I lived closer to Kevin and Paul.

Today I had dinner with new Edward and new Jennifer. They made spinach and ricotta gnocchi, salad, and homemade bread! We also had sake with our meal. For dessert Jennifer had made a homemade apple and berry pie and it was still warm. I love having friends that live so close that also enjoy cooking! We spent about an hour watching performances off of The Old Grey Whistle Test dvds and laughing about prog rock and wild outfits. Around 8:45 I scurried home to be online in time to do Hills Chat with my friends. Its confirmed: The Paper is way better than the Hills.

Audrey is growing her hair on her neck and belly back. Its funny because she is shedding her winter coat like mad, but growing back her bald patches like mad too. Now that I've had her for...almost 3 years? I have figured out the pattern. Winter: No Hair, Summer: Hair. Makes no logical sense but shes a dog - what does she know about keeping warm. Nothing.

I also got a call tonight from my landlord, a call nobody wants to get. My check got returned to them, which I had feared happened. However, he was super cool about it! He said, just cut me a new check and we'll ignore that this happened. No penalties! I told him I was really embarrassed and that this has never happened before (truth), and he was like "whatever, we have so many tenants its not a big deal." This landlord rules - quick to fix things in my place and didn't flip on me for a bad check. I'll be dropping off a new one on the way to work tomorrow and life will be fine again.

In money related news, I finally cancelled my Comcast internet. That bill was the culprit for the overdrawn checking/returned rent check. Its totally my fault for not cancelling sooner, but I really hate cancelling services. They make it so difficult then they make you feel all awkward and bad about it. Worse, I have to go to this totally random comcast drop-center to return the cable modem and their hours are absolutely ridiculous. At least I finally took care of it, while re-learning my lesson that sometimes in life you have to do irritating shit but you do it because its what must be done. Presently, I can't really think of any other items on my List of Things to do That Suck but I do them because I am an Adult and I have to. Feels like a huge load off my shoulders to not have stupid obligational crap for awhile.

I also realized that I totally forgot to commemorate my two year anniversary of moving here on May 7th. Whoops. I guess its good that I don't even notice it because it means this is more and more home. Its also sad because I really do love San Francisco and miss it every day so to have been here for two years can sometimes be a bit sad. To think about all the stuff I've done in the past two years is pretty insane. Got a sweetass job, got a promotion at said job, had a shitty apartment and rectified it with an amazing apartment, reconnected with old friends and got new friends, went from single to not-single to single again, had some identity theft problems, survived two miserable winters, and so on. The best/most proud part of it is that I did all of these things on my own (well I obviousy didn't get not-single and dumped on my own). I was responsible for all the good, dealt with all the bad, and am really happy that I've been able to handle it all pretty well. If you had told me somewhere in the middle of my 4 year relationship with the ex that this is what I'd be doing at near 27, I would have most definitely scoffed. Guess it just goes to show that we really have minimal control over our 'future' no matter how hard we try? That or I'm a total failure? I'd like to think its the former.

annoying start to the week

It is so so so cold out and so depressing to be out there. Barf. Yesterday I walked Audrey to new Edward's house to exchange movies. He loaned me Modern Romance, and I loaned him Hannah Takes the Stairs. Audrey got to meet two cats. She growled so the meeting was cut short. Guess she can't take a lil kitty running around here, not that one is coming in the near future anyway.

Today I barfed. That's right. Vomitola. I did it Monday morning too - but more of a dry heave experience. Today was full on out comes the cereal puke. I finally pieced together what I was doing differently that would make me so ill in the morning - it's my stupid multivitamin. I read online that women's one a day can cause vomiting because it has too much iron in it. It says it has 100 percent of a daily value but that must be too much for me. My boss said it made his fiance barf too. So I have a giant bottle of vitamins I'll never use. Let me know if you want them, maybe they won't make you puke.

I don't really mind puking, however today it posed a real problem. I had taken my lovely wellbutrin only 10 minutes before so I definitely puked it out before it could absorb. I wasn't sure if I should try taking more and risk getting super sick, or just roll with it. I rolled with it, and did not take any more. Big mistake, I feel really agitated and cloudy today. Physically, mentally, emotionally, just yuck. I miss you 'bute, come back!

Audrey is a bit of an assface

My peace lily is already all droopy. I suck at plants. I watered it a bit, so maybe it'll be happy when I return home. Maybe Audrey got jealous of it and peed on it or something. Who knows. Speaking of Audrey, she's been positively evil lately. Last night she refused to go to bed. Refused. She's never done that before. Normally she loves it when I say "let's go to bed!" She runs to the bed and scuttles underneath the covers. Then she'll spend a good minute scratching out her space to sleep. Its one of the best parts of my day. Last night she was like "bitch you've been gone all day, don't think I'm gonna get in bed with you!" It was true, I was gone from 8 a.m. until 11 p.m.. However, I'm often gone that long during baseball season and she's fine. Last night she made me walk her again after I was already in bed. Then she ran up and down the length of the apartment for absolutely no reason. Finally she went to bed around 1-ish, but woke up at 5:30 rarin' to go again.

This morning, like I've done the past week, I refused to get out of bed while she pounces all over and licks my face to get me to move. Around 6 I decided that I'd had enough and put her in her cage. She clawed the cage for an hour straight without stopping. At 7 I gave up, and opened the cage but went right back into my bed. She sort of laid with me and every now and then licked me. Finally around 7:40 I got up and dealt with her. Worst dog ever.

I'm 0 for 2 on the Sox winning when I go to a game. Last night's game was brutal. It was also very cold, so I had to buy a sox blanket to keep me warm. I sort of wanted one anyway so I didn't feel so bad about it.

Today is therapy, then running to make up for me not being able to yesterday. Then the office and 30 rock and maybe a movie. I got Hannah Takes the Stairs Tuesday. I've been looking forward to seeing it for a long time.

Weekend Update

I had a really busy weekend. I was supposed to go out Friday, but I fell asleep early in the evening. By the time I woke up I decided it was better to just sit around inside and watch BSG (awesome episode by the way). I also watched My Kid Could Paint That, a documentary about a 4 year old painter that people go nuts over. It was great. The plot was really interesting, but the documentary style was done really well. Good story arc, good set up of plot, good intersection between the director's interference and the family's opinions. It was just really well done. I think my doc film class for helping me gain a better eye for what makes a documentary 'good'.

Saturday morning I had to run, then I had to race over to get my haircut and colored (looks awesome), then run home to snarf some food down before my new pals Jennifer and Edward (another Ed!) picked me up to go to roller derby. Roller derby was pretty fun. The place was packed, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. It took me a minute to get a grip on the circular motion, but I eventually got the hang of how its done. We drank budweisers and cheered for any team at any time. Jen and I also found out we know all the same people back in SF, which is super disturbing.

After derby, I had to race home, change, and race to the Beat Kitchen to see Dialogue play their last show. There were a lot of people there, which was good for the band. I did ok I think, only felt like people were looking at me like I had a goiter on my face for a little bit (which is a major improvement, thanks therapy!). Hopefully a few more times out and I'll be totally back to normal, but I don't know. It's hard to not have alcohol as a crutch for small talk.

Today I went out to the suburban retreat to obtain a tv/media stand/console thingy. I also brought Audrey to let her run wild in the backyard with three beagles. Audrey seemed to like Arthur, the beagle Natalie and Matt are fostering. Auds got the dogs all riled up, and she was even rolling around on her belly with them. She never plays like this - in a submissive position. I was proud of her! She seems a little less wound up now, but still sort of wild.

Andy helped me bring the furniture up the stairs at my place, and helped me lug the behemoth tv onto the top of it. Then I hooked everything up. It has little cut outs for all the cords, so it looks really clean compared to my old crap. The wood is a lighter shade than what I have in my place, but whatever, it was free and is a major upgrade from what I had. It makes me feel like the room is put together better, and I was able to use the old crap in my storage/office room to get junk off the ground. I also did laundry and dishes. Lots of stuff.

I still really need to work on my kitchen. Maybe that will be my project next Sunday - to install under cabinet lighting, get some crap on the wall, maybe find a cool fabric to make a table cloth to spruce it up a bit.

In cool news, I've lost half an inch on my hips and thighs, and 3/4ths an inch on the ole gut! Yeahhhh (said Rick Ross style). Running rules! I'm feeling better physically and emotionally from it, and I often get the itch to run now. I never dread having to do it.

Monday I really need to call comcast and cancel their asses now that my DSL is working well. Its supposed to be really warm, so my run should be fun. I would have liked a third day on this weekend because it was so busy, but I'll live. Being busy means less time to fester in my own brain.

you can put it on the board, yesss

Had a good run tonight. I almost did a we are the champions arms in the air sort of move at the end I felt so good. It was a bit chilly but whatever. I came home, ate a burrito, and am now fighting with Audrey.

Audrey has been absolutely insane lately. She's attacking me even. Barking and pouncing on me over and over to get my attention. All day long. Its the worst and I don't know whats up. Is she asserting her dominance now that it's just the 2 of us? She's in her kennel right now on time-out because she's been so nuts. If anyone has any idea why she may be this awful, let me know. And trust me, I've been exercising her. And giving her her doggy calm down melatonin too. Ugh.

Thursday I am getting after work drinks with an acquaintance-turned-friend. It feels really nice and refreshing to be branching out, to know that I can do it, and that people are out there. Good times. As long as I keep busy I don't get too depressed. Still probably crying at least once a day though, like a loser.

Finally, the White Sox have been freakin' killing it lately. Love it.

squeak squeak squeak

Audrey was running absolutely wild for 5 minutes - back and forth across the apartment, so I tried to grab my camera to capture it. However, as soon as I reached for it she realized that maybe she'd be on camera and so of course she quit. I took some video of her anyway just because I'm bored. I like that the video is fuzzy, because thats sorta how she is - a blur of ridiculousness.

Check it out here

my apartment is going to kill me

I have between 12-14 weeks left in this hell hole my landlords call a 1 bedroom + den. This morning I was enjoying the extra lay-in-bed time because I didn't have to work. Audrey and I were snuggled up under the electric blanket. The one source of heat in my apartment - this wall unit heater that should probably explode at any point, turns on. It's humming along, blowing dusty gross air all over as it always does, when it starts to sound like it's dying. It gets really quiet and sorta groans. Then I hear BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! Lots of little beeps, that I can only assume is my carbon monoxide meter going off, so I freak out. This is the end. I'm going to die at 7 am on a cold January morning in a garden apartment in Chicago. Alone with just my dog.

Thankfully this thought only lasted a few moments, as the beeping stopped and the heater came back on. When I finally got out of bed at 9, I noticed that my microwave's clock had been restarted, which means there must have been a power surge or brown-out or something in my building. That made me feel a lot better...until I realized that both my carbon monoxide detector and fire alarm are not working because I had to take the batteries out because they go off anytime I turn on my oven. This place is AWESOME.

My apartment is second only to the lovely shitbag on Guerrero in SF, where:

-We had an invasion of grain weevils that forever prevented us from having any rice or pasta
-We had an ant invasion
-We had no heat for over a month in the middle of winter
-We had mice
-and oh yes WE GOT FUCKING ROBBED BY A 40 YEAR OLD FEMALE CRACKHEAD IN OUR HOUSE WHEN WE WERE ASLEEP.

And this place is a close close second. In my nearly two years here, I:

-had some rat/squirrel/something chew through the wood surrounding the pipes to my kitchen sink and eat all my dog food in the middle of the night
-have these weird ass bugs, whose name escapes me currently, swarm my apartment every summer
-gnats, gnats everywhere in spring
-the occasional fly invasion, even in mid-winter
-a wall unit heater that really must be illegal and should explode at any moment
-a dishwasher that was full of standing water for 9 months
-a neighbor who has a dog named HAPPY that has attacked my dog twice
-the worlds smallest bathroom that is also pretty funky


Thank god I have my money saved up to move when my lease ends on April 30th. Every day here is another day I want to firebomb my landlord's office.

Also, another reason I thought I was going to die today was that the owner of my dog walking company came in my apartment. Normally my guy Ken comes, but I told them to cancel for Monday due to my day off. I guess they didn't get the message because around 1:30 Audrey starts freaking the hell out. I'm zoning out on the couch in front of some mid-90's Law and Order episode, shouting vainly at the dog, when MY DOOR OPENS UP. I freak out as I see a man walking in, but somehow only muster a "Oh no!" like some Victorian-era damsel in distress. It turns out to be the owner of the dog walking company, whom Audrey hasn't seen in awhile. Audrey pisses everywhere and freaks out. Once the confusion was settled and he left I took a lovely 3 hour nap. Just me, my terrifying wall heater and a totally riled up dog who farted in my face while we were spooning.

I'm tired of living alone and always having to take care of myself. I want my Grown Up Life to start soon please.

On randoms, dogs, family...

I only moved two pieces of furniture with me from SF to Chicago, and those two only got moved because they could collapse and would be useful. One of them, a shitty IKEA coffee table, broke long ago. The other, a tv tray table thingy from Target, is still rollin on, and I use it as an end table to my couch. I put my laptop on it and type. Recently I've moved it in front of the couch. This closes off one entrance to the couch, but also lets me sit straight forward instead of twisted. I used to have this table the same way in SF - straight ahead, and Audrey would curl up in my lap while I typed away all night. Now that I moved it back into this position, she's curling up again! I love it. A doggy in my lap, a laptop under my fingers, cable tv on...my version of heaven.

Despite blowing the credit card that I had paid off on my laptop, I've been slowly squirreling away money for a new apartment in April. I look at apartments on Craigslist and fantasize about moving. Less than 6 months. Hating your apartment and hating your neighbors can really be a great motivation for saving money.

Also in the money department - this month is the first in 18 months that I will have to pay my student loan payment. So from now until eternity I'll be dumping 236 a month into my loans. Thanks out of state Madison tuition!

Finally in random updates that relate to dogs money and apartments, Christmas. Christmas is a dilemma for me. I have a doggy that I refuse to put in a kennel. I've done it once and I was so miserable I cried and cried the entire time she was there. It really bothers her too, after being in so many shelters before becoming my lil gal. Normally I send her off to her favorite dog-vacation zone, Natalie and Matt's house. They have always been so amazing about helping me and taking good care of her. I don't worry (too much) about her when she is there, and I know she's having fun running wild with their beagles. However, there's no way I'd even attempt to dump my dog at a friends house on such a huge holiday. That's just not right. So I'm left with 2 options:

1. Stay here with Audrey like I did last year
2. Rent a car and drive Audrey and me to Omaha and stay with a family member.

I could do 1, but it was sort of lonely last year. About 2 - I can't stay at my mom's because she has a golden retriever that is a bit too big to be rough housing with Audrey inside a house. They spent the night together when I moved here and it was stressful. Also my mom's creepola husband called Audrey a rat dog and made fun of her the whole time. No pup of mine is going to be ridiculed on a holiday!

So that leaves me with my dad. He just moved to a new house with his wife. I asked him in person if I could stay with him for a few days and bring Audrey. He had dogs with us as children, so I didn't think it would be a big deal. Instead he said no because he doesn't want Audrey on the furniture. I said she can go in her kennel when we go out, and be confined to just the kitchen, but he said he just doesn't want her in his new house.

Wow.

I asked my older brother to try and convince my dad. I haven't been in Omaha for a few years, and I'd like to be able to see my relatives. Big bro tried and also failed and I guess got really pissed at my dad because he is valuing his furniture over seeing his child. I said I'm being equally stubborn because I can't leave Audrey alone. However some of that is financial - a decent kennel over the holidays can be 50 bucks a day. So my big brother is angry, I'm hurt, I have nowhere to go for Christmas now because I can't bear to part with my dog....the whole situation just sucks. This is when being an obsessive dog owner hurts, and when having a creep for a step-dad and a materialistic real dad are problems.

Thankfully I still have my puny Charlie Brown-esque tree, xmas lights, and ornaments to celebrate here in style. I'll make my eggs, muffins, sausage like my mom normally does and watch some sort of tv marathon or something.

a bloody suburban weekend

Friday night Ed, Andy, Nate and I went on a “suburban double date.” The idea was born when Ed and I were bored at work and looking to do something different that evening. We decided dinner at the mall in Schaumburg and a movie at the suburban multiplex would be fun. So the four of us got in Ed’s car (its for sale!) and trekked to the suburbs via the lovely interstate. We ate at a Ruby Tuesday’s. The last time I ate there was at lunch time with my grandparents at least five years ago for their salad bar. I didn’t know that it was all burgers and beef on the menu! Literally, pages and pages of red meat. We had fun under the faux-tiffany lighting and fake authentic décor. Nate even wore some shirt his parents got him that is pretty horrid to celebrate the suburbs.

Then we drove to the other side of the mall and went to a movie. We saw Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married?. Nobody bothered to tell Nate it was a Tyler Perry movie until we got there because I knew he’d probably ditch if he found out. It was…ok…I mean it’s a romantic comedy with bad acting that is 30 minutes longer than it should be. Who would expect anything more? The best part was the audience around us making comments at everything in the movie. I especially liked when all the women whooped when shirtless dudes came on. We got home around 1 a.m., and declared suburban night a success, and also something that doesn’t need to be conquered again for quite some time.

At home. I ask Nate to walk Audrey one last time because I’m exhausted. I lay in bed, and I know he’s walking her around the block because he wanted a cigarette. A few minutes later I hear a ton of dogs barking like mad and a guy shouting and Nate shouting “Audrey Audrey!” It went on for what felt like an eternity but was probably 45 seconds. I should have just gone right out there but I didn’t have shoes on, and was already in bed. Nate comes back in and is like “your neighbors dogs attacked Audrey” so I have to check Audrey for bites. She’s covered in slobber and totally freaked out, but at first I didn’t see any blood. Then on the bed Nate and I are rubbing her stomach and trying to get her to feel happy and safe and I notice blood on her leg. Not tons of blood, but two definite separate attack marks that were bleeding. She licked her leg all night trying to clean it poor little girl.

If you remember awhile back, she got attacked in the hallway by these very same dogs. This is also the nosy neighbor woman who I don’t like in the first place. So I told her I needed to see her vaccination records for her pets since they made Audrey bleed. She tells me she can’t find them because of “all the boxes” (please god tell me that means she is moving out), but gave me her vet’s number instead. I don’t really need to see them, Audrey wasn’t hurt all that bad, but I said that to show her this can’t just be brushed off. She told me she was up all night crying over it, and really I was like “good you should be.” I asked her when she got the 3rd dog (she used to only have two uncontrollable ones) and she glared, looked at her boyfriend, and was like “he found her and couldn’t let her be a stray.” I told her she needs to get control of her pets. I really wanted to say “this is the second time your dogs have done this to Audrey, and next time the landlord and animal care and control are being called” but I’m too big of a wuss and scaredy cat to say that.

So poor Audrey! She seems fine now, her normal lapdog self. She’s been barking meaner and more often when people walk by the apartment, but that makes total sense. I feel bad mostly because today is my 2 year anniversary with her! Who wants to get attacked right before their 2 year anniversary with their mommy? Not Audrey. Oh and guess what else? I’m at work, doing one of my Sunday shifts, instead of enjoying this beautiful day outside with my dog and thinking about how she’s changed my life and how I love her more than I love most humans. When I get home I’ll take her for a long walk where she can sniff and roll in dirt and be happy. Audrey you are the best thing to ever happen to me, you are always there for me, you know when I’m bumming out, you wake me up in the morning and go to sleep with me at night, you are a total joy, you love having Nate around and he loves hanging out with you, you are the raddest little mutt on earth. So sorry you got busted up Friday, but I believe you were once from the streets anyway and can handle a few thug dogs.

Audrey's birthday sweater

Nate got a new camera, and took this shot as a test run for his new camera. Happy 3rd Birthday lil pup! Not the best photo, but whatever, you can see how unhappy she is to be wearing clothes.

off doc's and uncertainty

I went to the dentist this morning for the first time in two years, and yay for me I don't have any cavities! The cleaning was super fast and easy. The dentist was a bit of a doofus. I'm convinced my health insurance only lets me go to weird middle aged men who make bad jokes and make me uncomfortable. My shrink, gyno, and now my dentist are all sort of off. Oh well, I rarely have to go to them so it's not totally awful.

I'm having some serious motivation issues at work, to the point where my boss is noticing and asking questions about my bad attitude. I told him I really need that vacation, so hopefully when I return from SF my better outlook will show. If not then who knows... I'm not sure it's just my job that's suffering. I'm just super crabby and down in general. I'm really hoping that my SF trip and Minneapolis jaunt fix this. Sometimes getting away is all a person needs.

I took Audrey to the dog park after work today. I can't tell if its torture for her or if its fun. She doesn't like the other dogs too much, but after awhile calms down enough to wander around. She won't play with the dogs though, and this one jerk on the bench was taunting her and she got super scared and started barking like mad. I felt really bad for her. However, this is the reason I'm taking her - she needs to get desensitized to dogs and people. On the walk home I noticed that she wasn't as pissy at other dogs. She's making progress...baby steps and all that crap. I'm hoping to take her to the dog beach this weekend.

Love is...

...walking your dog in the rain, and then picking a dingleberry (sp?) off her ass because she's too stupid to create a full and successful crap that lands in the mud. Worst part is, I do this so often that she just knows to wait for me to grab her dangling turd. She looks up at me like "lady just pick the damn thing off, stop fiddling with the plastic bags." I wouldn't do this for anyone else, especially in the middle of a street. Just for you Audrey!

dog blog

Warning: If you are already miserable do NOT watch Shelter Dogs. I've spent the entire hour sobbing looking at these dogs. I only felt bad for one of the owner surrenders in this, and that dog thankfully got adopted to a really cute old couple. The film made me really re-think my stance on no-kill shelters. One of the saddest moments was them showing this freezing cold outdoor kennel of dogs stuck there for the rest of their lives. Or maybe the actual scenes of euthanasia were the worst. I held Audrey close to me the entire time, and decided to look at some of her photos to make me happy. I am so amazingly glad that I got my dog from a shelter instead of purchasing a dog. I don't know how to explain how glad I am that I made that decision. Watching this film makes it very very hard to not go out right now and get another pet. Ugh. Anyway, here's my lil gal Audrey.

This is the first photo of Audrey I have - I cropped Jake and myself out of the photo because we looked really crappy and chubs.



Audrey snuggled up in the blanket in San Francisco. She loves snuggling.



Chillin' on the pillow last month.



Audrey turns 3 in a few weeks, and in two months I will have had her for two years. Expect a totally horrifyingly sickly cute birthday party.

Daily Audrey

Natalie and Matt have taken in Audrey to their cozy home while I've been out of town. Audrey hasn't played with other dogs since the last time she saw their dogs, Lola and Watts. I was a little concerned she'd forget her manners, and at first it seemed she did. But it sounds like she is doing ok now. I miss her, and even Nate says its quiet in my house without her around.

Nat has been so kind as to take daily audrey photos for me while I'm gone, here they are:

Lazer Eyes Audrey:



Sleepy Audrey:



Contemplative Audrey:



Gon' Beat Yo Ass Audrey:



Two more days till I see the love of my life Audrey doggy.

A Normal Weekend?

I had a 'normal' weekend this weekend. It was the first in awhile, and the last for about a month. Friday I hung out with Nick on his new fancy couch and we watched Hackers. Somehow I had escaped seeing that film until then. Hackers was really funny! I loved the mid-90s techno parties and hacker speak. Then Ed and Nate came over and we walked to the Beat Kitchen to watch our friends band New Black. They haven't played in a few years, so I've never seen them before (you know, that whole 'I lived in SF' bit). New Black did a great, and loud, job. The only problem was that I started to get really bummed for a bit, about how I missed a lot by not living here after college. I got a bit mopey as I looked around and saw all my friends enjoying New Black and inevitably any memories they had of their past shows. I snapped out of it when I remembered how much I love SF and don't regret it, living there made me who I am today, blah blah blah. Not sure what got into me other than a tinge of jealousy about having missed out on some bonding time with my friends here.

Saturday Nate and I watched baseball almost all day. Watched the Sox then the Cubs, got food, then went to Jacob's birthday party at the Village Pub. Saturdays are karaoke night there, and the place was in rare form. A trolley full of stupid bachelorettes stumbled in, most of them barely able to keep their eyes open. They did the standard stupid songs like Lean on Me and other songs with love and friendship themes. Whenever one of our male friends would sing they'd hang all over them. It was very entertaining because they were so stereotypical - they even had the dick tiaras and blow-up doll man (complete with 70's porn moustache!). The highlight of the night for me personally, was seeing Nate and Steve do "Hey Jealousy" as a duet. Now I know why he's a drummer.

Today I made us waffles and we watched the Cubs and Sox games. Then we ordered pizza and I made him watch Big Brother 8 (from now on referred to as BB8 or BB) while I chatted with my literal big brother online about it. Nate said "how is this different from real world/road rules challenge?" and got a glare from me but no answer. Really, it's not very different other than someone gets booted off each week and theres a big ca$h prize at the end. It just 'seems' more intelligent, although anyone who doesn't live and die for it like me would disagree for sure. This season will rule though if the first two episodes are any indication.

This week should be interesting. My 50+ year old friend from SF will be here for two days. We worked together, which is how I came to know him. He is so very 'San Francisco' in that he grows his own pot, hitchhikes all over, has a deported boyfriend, gets arrested at protests...so basically he is awesome. I wonder if he'll "approve" of my lifestyle here.

Then on Friday I have to attend this intense work conference until next Wednesday. I'll be stuck staying in a dorm, sitting with some other library dorks learning better teaching methods from 8 am to 10 pm and attending mandatory 'social events'. I'm not looking forward to it. And as soon as I get back my big bro shows up to visit, then after that my mom. Then summer is over.

For a gal who isn't in any bands, sports, clubs, or extracurricular activities I sure feel damn busy. At least its busy with fun social events for the most part.

And finally, a stupid Audrey update: She has this tree trunk thingy that you put stuffed squeaky squirrels into and she digs them out. She has eaten/murdered two of the three squirrels but for some reason has kept the third one alive and kickin for her fetch-playing pleasure. Well, the squirrel has been missing since my trip to DC. I realized today what Audrey is doing. She has taken squirrel as a POW and is hiding her in some secret torture chamber in my apartment (perhaps under the fridge?). When I go to work she takes out squirrel and talks in human voice to her about how squirrel is a naughty little dick. Then she puts squirrel back in her private prison before I return home. Now to prove it I just need to get a motion-activated camera so I can see what she does all day when I'm away. I think this story shows that I need to get a life.

Owner Guilt and Separation Anxiety

Warning: Not interesting unless you care about my dog or own a pet and are psycho over them.

I'm going to Minneapolis this weekend, so I asked Nate to watch Audrey. At first he said yes then found out he has to play a show in Madison on Friday night, so I asked Natalie and Matt if she could come hang with their beagles for the weekend. They said yes and all was set. However, a family emergency arose and they will now be out of town for the weekend. Totally understandable, so today I spent most of the day fretting over what to do with Lil A. None of my friends I emailed said they could take her for Friday night/Saturday afternoon until Nate gets back to rescue her. I really detest putting her in any sort of boarding situation, no matter how fancy the kennel. She's already been through two different shelters, and I hate traumatizing her by throwing her in another scary strange environment.

I came to the conclusion that my best option was to have the dog walker come a few times on Friday and once on Saturday morning to let her out and feed her. Sure she'll be alone for a whole day, but she'll be in her own environment which I think is way better than being in a cage and catching kennel cough. Then when Nate returns on Saturday afternoon he can shower her with affection and exercise her until she collapses to make up for the time I'm away. After I made this decision I got way less stressed out about leaving her. Again, my dog walking company is the absolute best of all time.

Tonight I played 30 minutes of tug of war with her then later we did 30 of fetch with the stuffed squeaky squirrel. I wanted to give her lots of undivided attention to make up for this weekend. She's now nestled nicely against me wiped out.

I know that most non-dog owners would say that I'm doing all this out of my own guilt for leaving my dog and I'm anthropomorphizing but damn if Audrey and I don't have the most awesome connection. Only another pet owner could understand how madly in love I am with my dog, and how she thinks I'm the best dudette ever, and how that unconditional love is so insanely rad.

Photos will make me happy

*Click on photos to see them large size*

Audrey is giving me the "bitch, it is negative ten degrees and you think I want to crap? Well I don't. No fuckin' around mom, take me in." Did I just make my dog speak? CA U DID THAT!



The puzzle we've been working on, back on the first day. It's probably 3/4ths of the way done now. Not my hands: