i will spray you with the blue spray gun audrey gets when she's naughty.

Today I did my run with my pace group and I'm feelin good. I'm getting a bit of a superiority complex for being so proud of waking up at 5:30 every Saturday to run for charity. Can't deny it. After I came home I cleaned, did stupid shit, and went to dinner at Fernandos with Soup where I had some good conversation (if not a little agro - on my side not his), watched BSG with him, went home on the Western bus alone and drunk. Probably not the safest idea, but certainly the cheapest. Whatever, I got home fine and in about 10 hours my best pal Paul will be here to keep me company for a good 20 hours. If only the Pauls, Kevins, Kristins, Matt, Lizs of the world could be here 24/7 then I think all of life's problems would be solved.

i have pesto breath and i don't really care

Wednesday was a bit rough. I didn't have my medications so I felt super wonky. Work was so stressful because of this grant application deadline, and then to make things worse I noticed that my rent check either really did bounce or was about to. I had to race to the bank and do some bad money habits to cover the rent. I still don't know if it fully bounced or if the landlord will try submitting it one more time and I'll be ok. Its all my fault and I feel so stupid. Then the baseball game had a two hour rain delay which was pretty shitty. To make it worse the white sox got stomped by the twins, Jacob and I barely missed our train, and I didn't get home until after midnight. The only cool thing was that we got to see two dudes get chased on foot and taken down and cuffed by some cops at Chicago and Ashland.

Today I got my medications. The pharmacist remembered me - not sure if thats a good or a bad thing that he remembered me from two days before. He apologized and I felt bad for being so irritated with him on Tuesday.

I've been so tired lately. I don't get it. I thought running was supposed to give me energy, but I just want to sleep all the time! Maybe I'll get a chance this weekend. My bestie Paul is in town on a weekend trip with his mom, and he's sticking around an extra day to hang out with me. So on Sunday we are going to be super lazy and watch the golden girls all day and eat junk food. I've been looking forward to this for a very long time, so I'm super excited. It also is a motivation to clean my apartment. I've been pretty lax lately.

curse you insurance!

I went to fill my new wellbutrin prescription. I can take one bigger pill instead of two smaller ones now that we know the right dose. The doc wrote it up for the generic version, which I was happy about because it'll save me 15 bucks. I dropped it off at the pharmacy window and they said it would take 10 minutes. I wandered around the store picking up cereal, milk, dinner, then came back to the counter. The dude, who had the weirdest non-accent accent I've ever heard, told me that they were OUT of the generic. He said that although you can go from name brand on the prescription down to generic, you can't go up. So because my doc wrote it for generic I can't bump up to the real deal since my insurance won't pay for it.

1 - this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard
2 - how depressed is my neighborhood that the pharmacy RAN OUT OF WELLBUTRIN

So I don't get to take my dose tomorrow morning. I'm already paranoid about how much it will mess me up tomorrow, and oh my god I just realized I can't pick it up until Thursday because I'll be at the Sox game tomorrow night oh shit. This could be very bad...

random

Got some good news from the doctor today - I can wean off my prozac, and stick to the wellbutrin. I haven't felt any effect from the 'zac in forever, and the 'bute is definitely working, so there ya go. One less prescription, one less pill in the morning. One more sign of my 'betterness'.

The weather was great out today. Had lunch outside, had my run in 75 degree sunny weather.

Not much else, just wanted to mention the doctor. And Happy Birthday to Matt (in Boston).

rest of weekend update

Last night I took new Edward out with me to Club Foot to meet up with other friends. We had a really good time. Too good in fact, as I'm totally hungover today. Last night was the first night I went "balls-out" drinking since being on my new medicine, and as predicted it ended pretty badly. Physically I just felt drunk, but emotionally I got really really depressed. Like sobbing on the couch at 3 a.m. and not knowing why. Oy. Woke up feeling a bit better. I had some really messed up dreams about rabid stray cats attacking Audrey and me.

I had hangover brunch at Edwards (having someone who lives so close rules!). He made mushroom, onion, sharp cheddar, and some other kind of cheese omelettes, salad with balsamic vinagrette and toasted pine nuts, fresh OJ and coffee. And toast. It was awesome!!! And I don't even like mushrooms! He cooked them in bacon fat, so they sort of tasted like mushy meat. I think that must be why I handled it.

Since then I've pretty much passed out on the couch and took Audrey for a walk. If my sinus headache disappears I'll probably watch a movie.

Tomorrow morning I have to see the psychiatrist again to see how the new meds are going. I think I'm going to ask him to take me off the prozac and keep me just on the wellbutrin, since I hate taking two medications and I really haven't felt any effects from prozac in forever.

Saturdaze

Wanna know how my first group run went? Well you'll have to go here. In brief: not bad!

Since the run I've had the whole day open, it feels strange. I took an hour nap before noon, but I still feel pretty tired. Nate came over and we watched baseball and bsg. He forgot to bring his tools over, so still no hooks installed.

I'm currently trying very hard to not feel like a pariah. Success level: moderate.

news

From the um duh department: Chore Wars: Husbands create an extra seven hours a week of housework for wives, according to a new study. But wives save husbands from about an hour of housework a week.

From the most inspiring best article ever department: unabashed broads, including a librarian tidbit

I'm still thinking about how funny the Office was last night. I even rewatched it today at work!

random thursday update

May day may day! Happy laborers day and all that. My day was labored, but in a different way. The bus was all messed up to get to work, so I got there right before this 10 am meeting that was with a ton of heads of departments on campus. Oy! Then as soon as I walked in, they asked me to present my outline. I didn't know that was on the docket so I wasn't really prepared. Oh well.

I left work at 2 to get food before therapy. I ate at a Noodles next door to my therapist's office. I haven't been to one of those in years! I got something moderately healthy? Whole grain linguine with just a little oil, broccoli, and peppers. The small order too. It wasn't too bad. Not awesome either.

Went to therapy, bawled my eyes out for 50 straight minutes. Left really really angry, which I guess was a nice change of pace? I don't know, I'm trying to look at the feeling of anger as some positive progress or something. Only a few years ago I had a complete inability to feel real anger, so its cool I can do it now.

Had to go to Sports Authority to get some running crap, came home, ran, showered, did a load of laundry so I could shrink my jeans again. All of my jeans are too big now. It's a great feeling but I don't want to buy any jeans until I think I've stopped losing weight from running. Jeans are expensive! However, I have to wash them all the time now to keep them a bit tighter or else I look real shlumpy at work. Maybe someday the weather will cooperate and I can return to happy skirt land. I accidentally typed skort, which reminds me that a friend asked me on Saturday if I was wearing one. I was not.

Watched the office and 30 rock and thought both were super good this week. Lost was alright, I don't know if it was truly awesome though. Hopefully BSG tomorrow makes up for the mild snoozer that was last week.

When I read this it seems like I did a lot today. I guess I did. It's sort of nice to be constantly busy.