What a day

Today has to be one of the strangest days I've had since my robbery a few years ago. Wednesdays I work 11-7, so I was still in bed a little before 9 and I kept hearing beeping. It sounded like it was outside so I ignored it, until at 9 I heard sirens outdoors. I peeked out the window, and saw 3 firetrucks. Then I saw all the firemen and women coming in my building. Uh ohhh...I realized it smelled a little odd in my apartment, but it wasn't hot or smokey. Regardless, I decided to get me and Audrey out of here and see what is going on. I went out a lower level door, and up these side stairs, and saw that the apartment one floor up from mine (which is actually first level, remember I'm in the basement) was all smokey. The firepeople were cutting down the ceiling of the apartment and throwing smoldering black wood and ceiling tiles out of the apartment windows. The apartment above that one had all the windows open too, but nothing being thrown out of it. My neighbor across the hall (so right below the one on fire), came out too and we both sort of gawked together.

It didn't seem too dangerous, so I wandered up the stairs to look in the apartment. The whole ceiling was black and there was ash everywhere on the floor. I asked one of the fire women what happened and she said that a ceiling fan ignited an electrical fire. Yikes! A ceiling fan can do that much damage? The lady said that my apartment was fine to go back into, so I went in and sort of freaked the hell out.

My apartment, which only last week I was blogging about how much I hate it, may now have tied or topped the Robbery Place for shittiest apartment ever. I called 311, the info line for Chicago, at the advice of a friend who said I needed to get a city inspector out just to make sure everything is ok. First, the man who answered 311 fucking called me baby when I was trying to explain my story: "Hold on baby, let me get to my desk" (why wasn't he at his desk???). He then transferred me to someone who said "aw no gotta transfer you to xyz." OK, so went there, talking and the phone call dropped. Called back that number, got a new guy, who said that 311 shouldn't have given out the number, and that I should have a trouble ticket number, which I never got. So he transfers me elsewhere. Finally I get an answering machine, where I leave my story and hang up totally pissed off at bureaucracy. Several minutes later a city electrical inspector called me back and said he'd be over in half an hour. He was very nice, which helped me hate the city less. Somewhere between the call and his arrival a henchmen for my landlord showed up to survey the situation. There were cops here too. The electrician shows up, takes photos for the cops of the fire damage, checks out our electrical boxes (which he said are way not up to code), and checks out my place at my request. He said that my heating unit is a hazard, but I already knew that. The good thing is that he put it in the write-up violation thinger for the landlords. That means that the landlords will have to fix my heater or else.

So I spent the morning amidst chaos. I have 8-12 weeks left here, and am so fucking sick of it. And now, not only am I sick of it, but I also get to be afraid that I'll explode at any moment. And I'm reminded of how fucked the world is that someone who makes ok money can't afford to move out of her slum apartment (think Nickel and Dimed), and how everyone else on earth seems to think its just so f-in easy to up and move. It's not. I don't have savings and I don't have family to turn to. I saved up for over a year so I can move out of here. It was hard work and I'm proud of it. But the financial/class rant is for another day.

So around 1 I smacked myself. I mean really, I'm not the one who just lost their apartment. I still have a place to rest my head, my dog and I are alive, my few possessions are safe. I feel really bad for my neighbors who are probably stuck in some hotel and all stressed out.

At 2, I got to meet my dog walker. Many months ago Andrew quit so the agency had to assign a new dude to me. The lights are out in the hallway as a result of the fire, so he had to wander in in the dark. He knocked because he knew I was inside, and was like "lady are you ok?" In a Jamaican accent. My new dog walker is this 40-something rastafarian. Amazing! He baby-talked Audrey, took her for a walk, and then brought her back. He told me he carried her home because she was too cold to walk and he immitated her goofy walk. Dude is a good guy!

But the day doesn't end there. I take a nap and enjoy the Golden Girls in an effort to relax a bit. Wake up a few hours later, check my work email, and that woman that has caused me all the stress at work finally figured it out and resigned. So the next few months at work will be totally crazy. I can't really talk about any of it here however.

The day ended with Nate coming over. We ordered pizza, I got a good back rub, and we watched mythbusters. It was nice.

I wonder what new random shit will occur tomorrow.

Weekend Update

I didn't have a weekend, other than my one day off on Saturday. That said, Saturday was nice - the day was spent at Miller and Torri's house watching the last half of Season 3 of Lost to prepare for Thursday's premiere. The kids were really well behaved and super fun to play with. Sunday I had to work (boo).

Last night I watched a Jim Jarmusch film I hadn't seen before, Night on Earth and I loved it. The scene in New York is one of the best 20 minutes of a film I've seen in years. I'd recommend the movie if you like Jarmusch and vignettes.

Today I am in the midst of a half-day at work to compensate for all the extra time I've been putting in. I slept in, ran an errand, then ate brunch alone in a diner on Chicago Ave that I like. I read the Sun-Times and eavesdropped on all the tables of cops eating. It was really fun. Work's quiet today too, so thats nice. It almost feels weird to not be swamped.

My Women's Studies blog got linked by an influential librarian, so I'm hoping that helps increase the traffic a bit. It's almost been a month that I've been working on it, and have already finished one book, working on another, and beginning my third on Friday. I'm pretty proud of myself for that.

back on the chain gang

work sleep work sleep. That has been my week. When I'm not working, I'm either sleeping or trying to sleep so badly that I go insane. Wait, I forgot another component - missing buses. I have to miss a bus a day apparently, and because it's so freakin cold out I end up paying for a cab instead.

I have to work this Sunday too, so in addition to the amazing amount of overtime (not that I get it, lovely salary) I also have a one day weekend. Gotta love the beginning of the semester.

The recurring thought in my head the past few days has been: "Why do I try so hard to do right, when I don't getright-ness back from anything? All these idiots everywhere don't work hard or try or care about others, why am I the chump who does? All it does is keep me up at night." Stupid ethics and morals and the innate need to be Good. What's the point? We all end up 6 feet under or incinerated. Whoa that was bleak.

I hope tomorrow night is just me, Nate, and netflix. And Audrey. And food. And wine. And electric blankets.

dinner more often please

Today was the first day of class for the kiddies (a.k.a. college students), so it was pretty busy. I'm also prepping for a big presentation tomorrow to a bunch of professors, which always scares me. But enough of that awesome work talk!

Dan, VA, Nate and I had dinner at Friendship Chinese tonight. I had never been, but have been interested in it for a very long time. Tuesdays all of their entrees are only 8.95! Can't get a better deal than that. It was good food, good wine, good friends, great conversation, and just all around nice. Going to dinner is really my preferred method of socializing (as compared to bars or going to shows). I need to get more of these dinner things set up! I'm relaxed and happy, but also home early enough to have some alone time before going to bed. Yay!

my apartment is going to kill me

I have between 12-14 weeks left in this hell hole my landlords call a 1 bedroom + den. This morning I was enjoying the extra lay-in-bed time because I didn't have to work. Audrey and I were snuggled up under the electric blanket. The one source of heat in my apartment - this wall unit heater that should probably explode at any point, turns on. It's humming along, blowing dusty gross air all over as it always does, when it starts to sound like it's dying. It gets really quiet and sorta groans. Then I hear BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! Lots of little beeps, that I can only assume is my carbon monoxide meter going off, so I freak out. This is the end. I'm going to die at 7 am on a cold January morning in a garden apartment in Chicago. Alone with just my dog.

Thankfully this thought only lasted a few moments, as the beeping stopped and the heater came back on. When I finally got out of bed at 9, I noticed that my microwave's clock had been restarted, which means there must have been a power surge or brown-out or something in my building. That made me feel a lot better...until I realized that both my carbon monoxide detector and fire alarm are not working because I had to take the batteries out because they go off anytime I turn on my oven. This place is AWESOME.

My apartment is second only to the lovely shitbag on Guerrero in SF, where:

-We had an invasion of grain weevils that forever prevented us from having any rice or pasta
-We had an ant invasion
-We had no heat for over a month in the middle of winter
-We had mice
-and oh yes WE GOT FUCKING ROBBED BY A 40 YEAR OLD FEMALE CRACKHEAD IN OUR HOUSE WHEN WE WERE ASLEEP.

And this place is a close close second. In my nearly two years here, I:

-had some rat/squirrel/something chew through the wood surrounding the pipes to my kitchen sink and eat all my dog food in the middle of the night
-have these weird ass bugs, whose name escapes me currently, swarm my apartment every summer
-gnats, gnats everywhere in spring
-the occasional fly invasion, even in mid-winter
-a wall unit heater that really must be illegal and should explode at any moment
-a dishwasher that was full of standing water for 9 months
-a neighbor who has a dog named HAPPY that has attacked my dog twice
-the worlds smallest bathroom that is also pretty funky


Thank god I have my money saved up to move when my lease ends on April 30th. Every day here is another day I want to firebomb my landlord's office.

Also, another reason I thought I was going to die today was that the owner of my dog walking company came in my apartment. Normally my guy Ken comes, but I told them to cancel for Monday due to my day off. I guess they didn't get the message because around 1:30 Audrey starts freaking the hell out. I'm zoning out on the couch in front of some mid-90's Law and Order episode, shouting vainly at the dog, when MY DOOR OPENS UP. I freak out as I see a man walking in, but somehow only muster a "Oh no!" like some Victorian-era damsel in distress. It turns out to be the owner of the dog walking company, whom Audrey hasn't seen in awhile. Audrey pisses everywhere and freaks out. Once the confusion was settled and he left I took a lovely 3 hour nap. Just me, my terrifying wall heater and a totally riled up dog who farted in my face while we were spooning.

I'm tired of living alone and always having to take care of myself. I want my Grown Up Life to start soon please.

Linking out

I watched a movie tonight, but if you want to know more about it, you're going to have to switch over to this lil puppy to learn more.

Film School

I registered for Facets cinema winter 'film school'. Actually, I haven't received my confirmation, but I'm not too worried that it's filled up yet. Specifically, I'll be taking the "Stranger than Truth: The Hybrid Documentary." You can click on the link to see the 6 films. I've seen two of the 6 (Obviously I've seen Herzog's Wild Blue Yonder, and I just watched In the Realms of the Unreal), but I don't care. It's every Monday night for 6 weeks. You watch the movie with other people, then talk about it. I am so excited. I think it's really going to help me learn how to better evaluate films. I didn't like Wild Blue Yonder that much, so hopefully I'll get some new perspectives from the discussions. Documentaries are my favorite, and the 'half-docs' are pretty awesome too. I've said for over a year now that I miss having film buddies, so it'll be really refreshing to sit with other film losers and talk about a movie together. Maybe a new friend will be made out of it? Who knows. All I know is, I'm so glad I checked Gaper's Block today and saw this link on it. So yay for self-improvement, new experiences, new films, new everything!

Life continues to be one giant stress personally and professionally, but registering for this today made my day. Thanks movies!

Weekend Update

Well last week was pretty much totally awful. Work, personal, emotional, everything. But by the end of Saturday night, some of it turned around for the better, and I can control my mindset about work right? Just go in there tomorrow strong and not let anybody piss me off.

Saturday night a bunch of us went to the Village Pub for karaoke. We ended up at Soup's house playing guitar hero until after 3 am, which is very late for me. It was a fun night.

Today Nate and I finished season 2 of Big Love. Season 2 was so intense!!! I also read some, took a nap, made a breakfast burrito, a pretty typical Sunday.

I've found that putting so much energy into my other reading and writing project has really drained me from being able to write here. I've been staying home a lot, so there's not a ton of fun to write about. I better come up with something entertaining soon. You know, for the fans.

Movies alone

"They say, fucker been sewin' some kinda shit" Perhaps the best line in Inland Empire, the movie I'm watching for the second time ever just now. It's not the same on my tv after seeing it at the Music Box with David Lynch there. However, it's still pretty fucking amazing. I don't get the haters. Ok obviously if you don't like Lynch you'll hate it, but the Lynch fanatics that hate it? I don't get it. It's quintessential Lynch, and its like what Mullholland Drive and Lost Highway couldn't be. I've had enough wine to kill a cow.

Laura Dern's monologues to the mostly silent man (a detective? a shrink?) in the glasses are some of the best performances I've ever seen.

I also just realized that at the beginning of Eraserhead, I'm pretty sure Lynch has you set the brightness and contrast on your screen, yes? He does on Inland Empire too, but I can't remember any other DVDs he's had me do that on. It's so pretentious yet so totally not at the same time.

oy vey

As if my week couldn't get any f-in worse, it just got worse like times infinity. 2008, wtf are you doing to me?

Are you kidding me?

My stupid day thus far:

Irritating commute
Horrible drama at work that is going to take weeks of damage control when only one person did all the wrong (ps it wasn't me)
Waiting at work 45 minutes longer because Big Boss wanted to talk to me, but she never left her meeting, so I ended up sitting there for no reason.
Left so I could get to my car reservation in time to go to the store.
Decide to emotionally eat at a taco bell (damn you cheese gordita crunch ads!)
Zip home, throw all the food inside so I can return the car quickly, hence get to my dinner faster.
Go around the block to find out that some DOUCHEBAG FORD SUV DOUCHE is parked in the i-go spot. No other spots are open in the lot, so I can't do anything about it. Call the company and they said there's not much I can do unless I can find a legal space.
Call the tow company and I hope the fucker is towed by the time I re-attempt to return the car.
Return home to a slightly soggy taco bell, gross.
Eat it guiltily while watching the freakin Biggest Loser. How ironic is that?

I have a feeling my blog post on the other site about Desert Blood isn't going to happen tonight.

Introducing my new pet project

The past few months I had this idea bouncing around in my head. Some of you may already know that I got accepted into a Women's Studies graduate school in San Francisco, but turned down my admission to move to Chicago. While I don't regret moving to Chicago, I do regret that I skipped out on a super-affordable master's program. The two schools that offer this in Chicago aren't all that hot and they are very pricey. So, no Women's Studies masters for me. But that doesn't mean I can't read the texts and learn on my own does it? Who cares about some degree I'll tuck away and never use in my 'real life' as a librarian? Since leaving Madison, I've really missed discussing feminist issues with friends, peers, strangers, dissidents, etc. And maybe none of you want to talk about those things, but if you do, I've started a new web site.

Glass Ceiling U will be my DIY masters degree. I want it to be more than just a book club of women's texts, but for now its basically me reviewing book chapters and thinking about the implications of what I've read. I really want people to join in, so if you know anyone who may be interested, please let them know so I can get a dialogue going in the comments. Or if you are super super excited, read along with me! I'm really excited about this. It may not be art or a band, and it won't make me any money, but it's mine and its near and dear to me. And that's enough reason to blab to all of you about it.

So, thanks Graham for the name, thanks Nate for the logo and future logos, and thanks to anyone who contributes in any way. Feel free to recommend a book to me.

nothing new

I worked from home today, and aside from the tedious task I had, working from home totally ruled. I slept in a bit, watched HGTV while working, took the dog on a long walk (the 65 degree weather certainly helped), got laundry done, ate a decent lunch...everything was perfect! I had to give Audrey a bath because all the mud outside splashed all over her. I don't think I could work at home every day of my life, but it's nice to do it every once in awhile. I do miss the human contact a little.

I've been sitting on this film, In the Realms of the Unreal, for far too long. I should suck it up and watch it tonight or just send it back. Everyone who has seen it says its great, but for some reason my interest level is show.

I have to go to work tomorrow, but not Wednesday or Friday or next Tuesday, weee!

Weekend Update, nonsmoking edition

I've been reading a lot lately, so maybe that is why I can't think of anything that I've done to write about. Saturday was Nate's going out celebration for his birthday (which was today). He had everybody meet up at Club Foot. I was excited to check it out in all its non-smoking glory. The smoking ban started in January 1st, and I hadn't yet been to any bars. May as well go to the smokiest one of them all to see how well its working! The place smelled pretty gross still, but not so much like smoke, and nobody violated the ban indoors. I was able to stay there until bar-time! In the past I'd either have to go home or get so drunk I didn't notice my eyeballs falling out from the cigarettes. From what I could tell, none of the smokers really cared. Instead, there were times when half the bar cleared out because they all went outside. I'm sure it helped that the weather was nice.

I came here from a smoking-ban city and it was impossible to adjust to the smoke here. I hate smoking more than your average person (I think), so I have been eagerly anticipating the ban. It felt so great to come home not stinking of someone else's cigarettes. I also didn't have any of that second-hand black snot nastiness in the morning like I used to get. So Chicago, you finally figured out non-smoking, lets see, maybe by 2015 you can figure out recycling. It's not that hard to enter the 20th century.

Anyway, so Nate turned 27. My gift to him is getting some of his art custom framed. He seemed excited about it. I would have just done it myself, but I don't know jack about framing and I figured that would be sort of personal so I'll just pay for it when its over.

I'm working from home Monday, Wednesday and Friday of this coming week for very strange reasons. Regardless of those reasons I'm so excited to not have to get dressed and take the train for hours a day. I'll be spending my time writing this article I have to finish (or get started on). I foresee an awesome breakfast tomorrow, fresh lunch from home...it'll be great. Plus I save money because I got to cancel my dog walker for those days. I wish I could work from home all the time.

back on the horse

The only way to get out of my writing rut on this thing is to keep writing, yes? So here goes...

I was super tired all day because my 11 day break from work totally wrecked my sleeping schedule. I couldn't fall asleep last night, and then both Audrey and I heard a critter behind the sink/under the sink. That shit will keep you awake. Luckily Audrey is super fierce about it, so I think her growling and sniffing around it keeps the rat/mouse/squirrel/wtf-ever at bay.

The first day back to work was ok. I wasn't very inspired, which upset me a bit because I thought I'd be all refreshed and rarin' to go. Instead I played tea party with my boss' adorable son and worked on a press release of sorts for this amazing database I got the library, which is a big deal for a smaller library like ours. To put it in perspective, its definitely my biggest accomplishment since I've been there. Pat me on the back, or better yet rub my back, it loves it when you do that.

Tonight I made an amazing burrito, then passed out during food network's Cereal City Challenge or something. I woke up 3.5 hours later, and that episode was on again! I got to find out who won, how exciting. All this sleeping means two things: 1-I slept through Project Runway (its recorded) and 2-I'll never sleep again tonight.

I also bought my uncle a birthday card. I found out on New Year's Eve that he has prostate cancer. This news upset me very much. This is my uncle in California, someone I got very close to due to living there. Nobody likes hearing someone has cancer, and it was very odd to get him a "happy birthday" card because they all say things like "hey at least you ain't dead!" on them. That doesn't work when you are also forced to get a "get well soon" card. From what I know prostate cancer, if discovered early enough, is very curable...but for a 73 year old? All I can do for now is support him and look out for him.

Also, I had to find this out via IM from my brother. I've talked to my dad since and he still hasn't broken the news to me. Seriously? Am I that fragile? You can talk to me about it family! I haven't heard from anyone of 'authority' yet such as my aunt or dad. My aunt and uncle have also knows for months but didn't want to "ruin the holidays" for everyone so they hid it. This means they knew when I visited, which really sucks. If I ever have a family of my own, there will be no ridiculous secret-keeping for the sake of some surface fakey vision of happiness. No no, my kids will get the brutal honest truth.