on ships of gold, i never knew

So I have a ton ton ton of things going on, and I don't have the slightest idea where to begin or how to explain any of it. I guess there maybe isn't so much of a need since my closest friends are aware. I'm conflicted about writing about it just yet, maybe because I don't want to jinx things or also because involved parties don't know this dumbo blog exists and I'm not sure when/if this gets revealed. Life is totally unreal this week on so many levels that my head is exploding, in some ways very good and others very bad.

I've been reading a lot of feminist texts about women bloggers and what it means to be able to put your personal voice into the lexicon of public consciousness and history, and how if you look back over time that it was totally revolutionary and new to be able to have the option of being heard as an 'average woman'. I've been reading a lot about voices of past women, that women who kept seemingly innocuous diaries ended up teaching generations and centuries of women in the future so much about the culture/society of which these women lived in. (Think No Priest but Love the book of Anne Lister's diary for proof of the impact independent writing can bring. Without her diary we wouldn't understand how lesbianism/female friendships were manifested in 1800s France. I read this book years ago and it has always served as a writing inspiration for me.) I'm not saying I'm some revolutionary - hardly - but I think what many of these women are saying taps into me on a very root level and helps me understand why I do this in this manner. And motivates me to continue despite adversaries/haters/jerks/whatever. Like any website, move along if you can't stand it. Or enjoy mocking it. Who gives a shit what anyone does anymore really. Its the internet.

Last night new Edward made me some killer turkey burgers with oddly fancy bacon and swiss cheese as well as an arugula salad that was pretty sweet. I also got surprised today at work with a lunch hand delivered to me. Its a very welcome change of pace. Tomorrow is a Sox game and Thursday is (maybe) a book reading if I'm up for it.