2007 Retrospective

I'm headed to a party at my friend CJ's place in a few hours. I keep delaying writing any blogs. For whatever reason, I'm not all that interested in explaining my trip to Omaha, or even how awesome that free R Kelly show was. I've also had this list of things I did in 2007 that I was going to expand upon, but am not interested in doing that either. Instead I'll keep it in list format.

In 2007 I...

...got a new boyfriend on the first day and still have him around, which means tomorrow is also my anniversary

...had an old friend from SF die

...went on a nice vacation to SF with Nate

...kicked ass at my job

...saved money so i can move out in April 2008 when my lease ends

...barfed in an alley, making me probably the only librarian in history to do that

...went on a vacation with my lifelong besties to Gulf Shore and had the best week ever

...went on my first all expenses paid conference trip to DC and had a great time

...had my debit card number stolen online and $1000s nabbed, resulting in weeks of fixing the problem

...enjoyed another year of my sweet but nuts dog

...watched a ton of great films, which I'll list later


In 2008 I hope to...

...take another vacation, to Seattle or Boston or both, to visit friends

...finally lose the 10 lbs I gained when I moved here (I know I said this last year too)

...move into a much better apartment

...sew more stuff

...get my new blog (TBA) up, running, and successful

...be less of a control freak

...see a film at the Gene Siskel whatever film center. Been looking at their exp nights with interest

I'm sure there are tons more, but this list is starting to get a little goofy.

been busy, will continue

Not much time to write a real update, but...

I just wanted everyone to know that I AM SEEING R KELLY LIVE AND FOR FREE tonight!!! Should be a spectacle of wonderment, sociologically amazing, and overall entertaining.

Then tomorrow morning I drive to visit my parents in Omaha, NE for a few days. Let's hope the joy of seeing such a whack-ass like R Kelly will carry me through the week with family.

Weekend Update

This weekend we got dumped on with snow. I hate snow, so I hibernated. Friday night Nate and I watched It's a Wonderful Life, which believe it or not, I had never seen before. That movie is such a downer! I'm not sure why people watch it at Christmas time every year, it left me feeling really bleak. Saturday I wanted to go to the fabric store to get some supplies but the snow left me stuck inside. I finished reading Murakami's Dance, Dance, Dance and I really enjoyed it. This book was a bit more sexually graphic than his other works, and I'm not sure what to think of that. Guess I could do some literary criticism research, but I'm too lazy. Sunday we scooped a car share car out of its space, and went to JoAnn and Target. I got the string and point turner thingy, then at Target I got a replacement filter for the humidifier. That place was absolutely out of control with Christmas shoppers. I wish we would have been able to go earlier in the morning to avoid the crowds, but the weather left me with few options. The rest of the day I spent making my matching pillow for the one I made in class last week. A nice quiet boring weekend.

All the tv shows I watch are over due to the writer's strike, so I've been reading more. I have some books coming to me in a few days:

Susan Faludi's The Terror Dream: Fear and Fantasy in Post 9/11 America I can't WAIT to read this

Jean Thompson, ed, Throw Like a Girl: Stories I can't tell if this is drivel-chick lit or if it's good but I saw it on a few year-end best-of lists so I'm gonna give it a shot.

Alicia Gaspar de Alba's Desert Blood: The Juarez Murders. Will explain why I'm reading this in a few weeks.

Murakami's Hear the Wind Sing, I think this is the last Murakami that is translated into english that I have yet to read.

Finally, tomorrow I'm going to see Juno with Nate, which I'm super excited about. I hope it doesn't disappoint.

Sadly not a surprise...

Oh sad, a referrer to my page: from the U.S. Army, searched for "stop that male coworker from bothering you".

PMS or PYES?

I think I have Pre-Year-End Syndrome. Its finals week, which means lots of "my time is too valuable to do this" type students come in. On top of that, everyone is a bit snippy because we are all dying for our 10 days off starting the 22nd. The stress at work dumps into my free time, and I'm generally bitchius maximus 18/7 right now. I say 18 because I'm not awful when I'm asleep or dreaming. It certainly doesn't help to go to CNN.com and have two of the top headlines be the following:



Then it was even dumber of me to read the feminism blogs out there about these cases because they link to scary right-wing places with anti-women comments that make me shoot barf out my eyeballs.

I also have a sore throat. Yikes! And a totally busted left middle finger. Last night I bought a used tv off a friend, then dropped it on my finger when moving it to my place. The tv is at least 100 pounds, so I'm in pain. At least I have a clear image and can read the subtitles on films now.

a very domestic weekend

I think this past weekend was the most domestic weekend I've ever had. It may come in at a close second to that night when I was 8, and my cousin and I spent the night at my grandmas. We made neon colored skirts with palm trees on them, then did a fashion show. That was pretty domestic. It may also be the last time I sewed until this past Sunday. I took a class at this place two blocks from my house called The Needle Shop. It's a newish (2.5 years old) space, and it is very unfinished. As in, it's in a basement of an apartment building. Sorta smells like a basement, but whatever. The instructor was so amazing. She was really nice and helpful. There were four other women in the class, and they were all cool too. I chose the place mostly because of location, but also because you could bring your own machine. I really wanted to learn how to use my own machine since I know every sewing machine has its own quirks. My grandma, the grandma who taught me how to sew neon skirts, gave me this machine years ago. It has traveled from Madison to SF and now to Chicago. Finally, I made something out of it. A pillow:



I got the pattern on the sides to almost exactly match, but not quite. The zipper looks nearly perfect too, so I'm super proud. Perhaps the best part is that I purchased another pillow form, fabric, and zipper so I can make a matching one. This means I'll have two pillows, and that I will remember how to make them. So next weekend, I'll have another one on the ole couch that is currently dominated with red pillows. The blues will be a nice change. I have all these other ideas now, such as to sew a stripe to my boring curtains. The place offers more classes. I figure I'll take another one or two to keep learning some new skills. I've never considered myself creative, so I'm really proud. I know to some of you this is something you could do in your sleep, but its a pretty big step for me.

The day before sewing day, I went to Cookie Party 2007 at Jacob and Wendy's apartment. A bunch of us got together and baked cookies while watching skate videos. Pretty awesome huh? Miller and Torri came and brought their babies as a surprise, which totally ruled. I hadn't seen Charlotte in months, she's so big now! And Ollie and I had a great time sprinkling cookies and playing "wheres the cookie." He even gave me a hug willingly when he left. My uterus was calling me by the end. I have lots of cookies at my house now to continue the sugar binge.

Saturday night we went to Dan and Virginia's "we're living in sin" housewarming party. Virginia makes a mean calzone and Dan makes some funky looking but awesome tasting taco rolls (is that the name?). I ate tons of both. The night ended with an hours long karaoke throw-down on the couch. He has a karaoke machine and some truly heinous CDs for it. It connects to the tv so its just like being at a bar. We all learned that Andy has a truly amazing talent for singing current rap songs. Even Nate sang (Life is a Highway haha). Finally around 2 am, we slipped our way home on the intense ice outside.

Tonight was my last google-chat night with Kevin, Paul, Matt, Liz, and Kristin for the Hills Season Finale (total disappointing episode!). I also did my grocery shopping and laundry. Tomorrow I'm buying a used tv off a friend for cheap, which is good news for me too. I also have a really cool idea for a writing project to start in 2008. Lots of good things to keep me busy for winter.

Circle of life, what goes around comes around, deja vu, etc

I just baked 3 dozen chocolate chip cookies. I live alone, Audrey isn't allowed to eat chocolate, and boyfriend is out bro-ing down with bros, celebrating being free from an evil employer. Unlike my last willfully unemployed drummer boyfriend, I'm actually excited about this development as compared to thinking he's gone off the deep end. Let's all take a moment to laugh at my dating pattern? Nah, it's cool, and probably only funny to me. But enough deja vu talk - these cookies will be going to work tomorrow, which is ironic because nobody has been at work this week at all. Its that or I eat all of them alone and continue my winter fat-padding.

Haven't done much this week, as usual. Chicago got dumped on - not with dog shit, but with 7 inches of snow. As a result, my dog refuses to shit. I learned last year she refuses to crap anywhere but on grass. No grass in sight due to freezing cold snow = no poopers. It is not pleasant in the early morning when it is so obvious she wants to do it but psychologically can't. It's like doggy stage fright. And that's a lot of poop talk. Update (not that you realize I just left): Audrey just chose to eat bits of snow. Conclusion = she does not like. Dumbo.

How about we play that "what did I write x years ago and how can I make fun of it" game. So this day in history:

12-06-2002:

I just presented my Drag Show today in class. It went off without a hitch, and we were amazing. Someone at the end said "Thank you, I actually learned something from your presentation." It was awesome. Now if only I could get this moustache glue off my face before work. I get to watch soaps today, I am so excited. Then this evening: FISH FRY! French Toast and Ted/Leo. SLEEP!

Whoa - it was five years ago that I was in my last semester of college, and that I was a Drag King in the middle of whatever the name was of the building where all the math classes were (and for some reason my Race, Gender, and Popular Culture class). I really have no reason to make fun of that performance because it was a highlight of college for me. However, I can totally make fun of the rest of the post. Watching soaps? Yeah for some reason I went through a soap opera watching phase back then. It was calming. I don't watch them now. I will admit that when I was working 4-midnight in SF, I still indulged. Next - Fish Fry - absolutely NOTHING funny about those. I miss those more than anything on earth. Finally, French Toast - can someone remind me who this band is/was? And why did I type Ted Leo as "Ted/Leo"? And why did that show excite me - I had, and continue to have, absolutely no interest in Ted Leo. Finally, SLEEP! - sleep ruled 5 years ago, and it still rules today.

But come on, I'm sure I can find a funnier post from December 6th of years past, so let's keep digging. Whoa, mama! Found a doozy from 2003:

Such exasperation. 1. Final tomorrow, then no more school until January 29th. that is great, but it makes studying even harder b/c I just want it done already.

I was in grad school then. Boring and lame, but the reason I have a job today. Whatever.

2. Sometimes I think about how its strange that I live with my boyfriend. If we hadn't decided to move here, we would not be living together. But, SF is super expensive so living together is the most economical option. But pretty much any dispute arises out of living together. Dishes, attitude upon walking in the door, music, noise levels, sleeping, heat, everything. I just want to be able to walk into my home and be the way I want to be, but now I have to think about someone else's feelings 24 hours a day.

Clearly the honeymoon phase was over? Interesting that 6 months into living together I was already having issues with the music. And yet stuck with it 3 more years...I like the selfish, self-centered bit at the end. I've definitely got that 'tude again now that I've lived alone for nearly two years.

And that process in our relationship was kind of jumped up a couple years, definitely before either of us was ready for it. Well I'm not at least. He's already lived with one girlfriend (although never without other roommates). It reminds me of the sex and the city episode where Carrie and Aiden first move in together and its like shit everywhere, no boundaries, no easy way to bring it up. Carrie just wants an hour to herself when she gets home without any words at all, as if he wasn't there. She gets it, and within five minutes is hanging out with him anyway.

Whoa whoa whoa, I totally did that embarrassing 'compare my life to a hackneyed tv show' bit. I'm hanging my head in blogger shame.

For me, it's like this constant struggle. I want to spend every second with Jake and get annoyed when I can't, yet don't want that at all.

If you replaced the name with Nate, you wouldn't know that this bit was written 4 years ago. Totally disturbing that I haven't figured this stuff out yet.

I want to be able to pig out and watch Dr Phil or reality tv without being made fun of or feeling ashamed. Yet when I am doing that I always go in the other room to see what he is doing.

Ok, secret's out I guess. 2002-2003 was a big time in my life for daytime tv. Shut up, again it's calming.

I guess I'm just overwhelmed. I don't really know how to find a good balance of me time, jake and me time, and fitting in work and school. And have that balance be satisfactory-thats the big part. Any suggestions on how people who live together found that balance please inform me.

Still haven't found that balance in my life. I'm either desperate to be alone, totally absorbed in library-land, or totally devoted to the boyfriend.

Somehow this post got real depressing real fast, instead of super funny and irreverent. Bummer.

It should be noted that I really have no issues with Jake. He is a superb person, just not someone I can date or live with, not 'the dude' for me. And that is OK.

Lifetime Movie: When Bloggers Stray

I've neglected my blog. I'd like to say it is because I'm so busy and doing so many exciting things, but really I've been busy avoiding the blog by watching my new tv station - Lifetime Movie Network. Can you believe there is an entire station dedicated to that shit? Well, there is and I got totally wrapped up in What Every Mother Fears Most last night. The movie was so awesome - it was about a 16 year old who gets mad at her mom so she runs off with a man from the internet...in 1998, so there are some amazing "this is the world wide web" parts. "Chat rooms? There are several?" Is it any coincidence that my boss and I talked about To Catch a Predator for 20 minutes today? Thank you Lifetime Movie Network for awesomely bad films.

I've also been busy rocking my job harder than any library should probably be rocked. I left work today feeling victorious and proud. I guess if you are stuck somewhere 40 hours a week, you may as well do a good job. I've also been finally winning some of my Scrabulous games. The tide has turned for ole Causing Accidents, and I am now 9-24!

I am proud to announce that I finished a book in two evenings last week, so I guess that kept me busy. I finally read Krakauer's Into the Wild. I didn't learn until today that Sean Penn has a movie out based on the book, so that's weird timing. I loved the book. Loved it. I've been obsessed with solitude/isolation-by-choice stories for the past year or two, and this was perfect. It's also a super fast read with primary sources, which makes life more interesting. I couldn't put the book down. Now I have to decide if I should see the movie or if I'd hate how it compares to the book.

This morning I had to go to the psychiatrist. I've written about him before, but the dude is the worst example of mental health on earth. I've been on prozac for at least a few years, so when I moved here I called a doc in my insurance network and made an appointment. I told him "hi I take 40 mg of fluoxetine [generic prozac]" he said, "ok, we'll write up a prescription and I'll see you in four months for a check up." Every four months since then I've had the same experience - wait an hour until he can see me (he's never on time), tell him nothing has changed in my life, get my refill, leave medicated. Today, however, doc added a little bonus to my experience. He said, "It's winter now, and people with depression sometimes get even more depressed. Therefore, just call my office and they'll hook you up with Wellbutrin in addition to your prozac. Wellbutrin can increase anxiety, but they make a really great new formula now that shouldn't do that to you. Or would you just want that prescription right now?"

...uh...

I didn't mention anything about Seasonal Affective Disorder, unless saying "I hate cold weather" during the chit-chat crap counts? This guy is just throwin the meds around! He also never once has asked for my old medical records as proof that I was on prozac before moving here. I believe that pretty much anyone with Blue Cross can go to this dude's office, say they are on a certain medication, and get on it with no problem. Awesome or awful? You decide.

Now I'm watching a show about sex changes, and in an hour my best friends from HS will all sign online, and we will watch The Hills together like we do every Monday. It's one of the highlights of my week - to sit and watch stupid tv and catch up with people that mean the world to me.

I'll try to not let this blog go empty for 8 days again, but you never know what awesome Poppy Montgomery Lifetime movie will be on to preoccupy me.