Random Updates

I have a rager of a headache today, had it since last night. Stupid red wine and not enough water. Went to see DPC play last night. It was ok. I didn't really know anybody there other than Zaid and a few girls, so I ended up sitting alone for much of the show. Came home, slept in because today is a half day, and here I am at work. Had to deal with yet another bum altercation today at work.

Tonight is the Mt St Helens, Reds and Blue, Tight Phantomz show at the Beat Kitchen, weee! I'm excited to see my friends again. I think it's been nearly a month since I've really been out. Let's see if I can remember how to be social again without being a total bummer.

Finally, I've been listening to Belle and Sebastian's Tigermilk all week. I haven't listened to this album in probably two years, and forgot how much I love it. I've had My Wandering Days are Over on repeat constantly. Yikes, maybe I "identify" with it or something cheesy and laugh-at-able. But it's true, I'm old, or at least feeling old with regards to my social life.

Tolstoy's Resurrection

I'm 3/4ths of the way through my final Tolstoy published work, Resurrection. Not that anyone can sum up a Tolstoy work in a few sentences, but basically a rich dude sits on the jury of a woman he was once very close with but raped long long ago and by a total mistake she gets wrongly convicted. He goes through a crisis of character over this and how he has acted as a rich dude, and spends the rest of the book trying to fix his wrongs by working to get her out of jail and get other innocents out of jail. Not sure how it ends yet, but its a great look into criminal justice, societal justice, human nature, compassion, class, all the goodies Tolstoy writes about.

Anyway, a few bits stood out and because I'll probably never re-read it, I'm going to put the quotes here so I can remember them (bold emphasis is mine).

"The upholding of class interests! The law, in my opinion, is only an instrument for upholding the existing order of things to the advantage of our class."

"This is a perfectly new view," said Rogozhinsky with a quiet smile; "the law is generally supposed to have a totally different aim."

"Yes, so it has in theory, but not in practice, as I have found out. The law aims only at preserving the present state of things, and therefore it persecutes and executes those who stand above the ordinary level and wish to raise it-the so-called political offenders-as well as those who are below the average, the so-called criminal types."

_______________

It all lies in the fact that men think there are circumstances when one may deal with human beings without love. But there are no such circumstances. We may deal with things without love - we cut down trees, make bricks, hammer iron without love - but we cannot deal with men without it, just as one cannot deal with bees without being careful. If one deals carelessly with bees one will injure them and will one's self be injured. And so with men. It cannot be otherwise, because mutual love is the fundamental law of human life. It is true that a man cannot force another to love him as he can force him to work for him, but it does not follow that one may deal with men without love, especially if one demands or expects anything from them. If you feel no love, sit still," Nekhlyudov thought; "occupy yourself with things, with yourself, with anything you like, only not with men. Just as you can only eat without injuring yourself when you are hungry, so you can only usefully and without injury deal with men when you love. Only let yourself deal with a man without love, as I did yesterday with my brother-in-law, and there are no limits to the suffering you will bring on yourself, as all my life proves. Yes, yes, it is so," thought Nekhlyudov; "it is true; yes, it is true," he repeated, enjoying the freshness after the torturing heat, and conscious of having attained the fullest clearness on a question that had long occupied him.

I need to read some critical evaluations of Nekhlyudov's character, as I find myself vacillating between Nek. as self-centered to Nek. as reformed to Nek. as reformed but for self-centered reasons. It took me a long time to realize that, but once I saw the layers to his character, I began enjoying the book much more.

time is flying, plans to keep it flying

Wednesday already? What's happening to time? Is the world spinning faster? What have I even done the past few days? Hmmm...let's look back...

It was my turn in the rotation for who gets stuck working Sundays, so I was there. How exciting. Monday was...Monday. I bought some new pants and shoes in preparation for teaching classes on Tuesday. I needed both items, so it wasn't really "just" for that one day. Then I vegged out all night.

Tuesday was yesterday, and a last minute scheduling mix-up on the prof's part lead to me being stuck at work teaching until 6:30 (I was scheduled to do this on Thursday). I was pretty pissed off, but in the end it means I don't have to do it tomorrow and save myself another day of playing Dress Up and Pretend I'm a Mature Adult.

This morning I went to work in one of my two pairs of jeans that fit. These are my favorite pair, but they were definitely getting worn out. I looked down at my pants on the train, and notice there is a huge hole where the denim rubs together at my inner thigh/crotchal area. Yes, my thighs will touch each other. I am not a coked out model, nor a character on the Hills, sorry. So the fabric disintegrated and it was definitely not ok to have these on at work. I can't believe I traveled one bus and two trains in them. I wrapped a sweater around my waist, went to a meeting, then left work to go buy a new pair of jeans. Ugh. And of course, nobody makes jeans for short people anymore so they are now getting tailored and I can't pick them up until Sunday. So I'm rolling with my one pair of jeans until then, and they are sort of too baggy...actually they are definitely too baggy. I can put them on and pull them off without having to unbutton or unzip. Not normal for a gal.

Finally, I've been feeling the need to 'improve,' or as someone near and dear to me essentially said recently, to 'get a life.' Here's what I'm doing:

1. Attempting Nanowrimo again this year, which starts November 1st. Have ideas for short stories, but no long stories. Got some books with prompts and other stupid 'new writers' stuff. I know that they say no good or true writer/artist would need a book to tell them how to do it, but as a librarian I do need a book. I'm not looking for fame, just an outlet for something I already like doing. So F U critics, snobs, and haters.

2. Taking a Sewing 101 class at the Needle Shop on December 9th (the soonest one open!). I'll make a 16" pillow in this class. It's great because you bring your own machine, so I'll finally figure out why I can't get my machine to work. Also great - this place is not even 2 blocks from my house and I never knew it existed! Thanks internet for directing me to this wonder of wonders.

3. Starting Sunday I'm doing a kind of strange 11 day detox diet. It's a non-dairy non-white food type deal for 7 days, then a fasting day where you drink 8 ounces of water one hour the 8 ounces of this cranberry juice concoction the next hour, etc.. Finally, 3 more days of that original diet plan to phase your body back into normal. It's supposed to be all liver and colon happy and clean you of gunk and impurities (e.g.: I'll probably have some interesting umm...eliminations). Who knows if that's true, but the foods you eat are healthy so I'll go for it. It's recommended for people who are always tired or have skin problems or stomach problems or irritability. Guess what? I have all of those! Why am I starting this Sunday? Because I'm attending a Halloween party on Saturday night and I want to eat candy and get drunk with my secret awesome costume. As Taylor on Kid Nation would say, "deal with it!" No alcohol on this diet. No caffeine either, which is something I'm really nervous about.

I'm happy that I've got plans coming up, keeps me less obsessed with work, more active, and now I have some activities to look forward to. I think this is probably the only reason I didn't freak out yesterday about the teaching or this morning about the near money-shot I was providing the bums on the train.

So three things for self-improvement over the next 6 weeks, not bad.

a bloody suburban weekend

Friday night Ed, Andy, Nate and I went on a “suburban double date.” The idea was born when Ed and I were bored at work and looking to do something different that evening. We decided dinner at the mall in Schaumburg and a movie at the suburban multiplex would be fun. So the four of us got in Ed’s car (its for sale!) and trekked to the suburbs via the lovely interstate. We ate at a Ruby Tuesday’s. The last time I ate there was at lunch time with my grandparents at least five years ago for their salad bar. I didn’t know that it was all burgers and beef on the menu! Literally, pages and pages of red meat. We had fun under the faux-tiffany lighting and fake authentic décor. Nate even wore some shirt his parents got him that is pretty horrid to celebrate the suburbs.

Then we drove to the other side of the mall and went to a movie. We saw Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married?. Nobody bothered to tell Nate it was a Tyler Perry movie until we got there because I knew he’d probably ditch if he found out. It was…ok…I mean it’s a romantic comedy with bad acting that is 30 minutes longer than it should be. Who would expect anything more? The best part was the audience around us making comments at everything in the movie. I especially liked when all the women whooped when shirtless dudes came on. We got home around 1 a.m., and declared suburban night a success, and also something that doesn’t need to be conquered again for quite some time.

At home. I ask Nate to walk Audrey one last time because I’m exhausted. I lay in bed, and I know he’s walking her around the block because he wanted a cigarette. A few minutes later I hear a ton of dogs barking like mad and a guy shouting and Nate shouting “Audrey Audrey!” It went on for what felt like an eternity but was probably 45 seconds. I should have just gone right out there but I didn’t have shoes on, and was already in bed. Nate comes back in and is like “your neighbors dogs attacked Audrey” so I have to check Audrey for bites. She’s covered in slobber and totally freaked out, but at first I didn’t see any blood. Then on the bed Nate and I are rubbing her stomach and trying to get her to feel happy and safe and I notice blood on her leg. Not tons of blood, but two definite separate attack marks that were bleeding. She licked her leg all night trying to clean it poor little girl.

If you remember awhile back, she got attacked in the hallway by these very same dogs. This is also the nosy neighbor woman who I don’t like in the first place. So I told her I needed to see her vaccination records for her pets since they made Audrey bleed. She tells me she can’t find them because of “all the boxes” (please god tell me that means she is moving out), but gave me her vet’s number instead. I don’t really need to see them, Audrey wasn’t hurt all that bad, but I said that to show her this can’t just be brushed off. She told me she was up all night crying over it, and really I was like “good you should be.” I asked her when she got the 3rd dog (she used to only have two uncontrollable ones) and she glared, looked at her boyfriend, and was like “he found her and couldn’t let her be a stray.” I told her she needs to get control of her pets. I really wanted to say “this is the second time your dogs have done this to Audrey, and next time the landlord and animal care and control are being called” but I’m too big of a wuss and scaredy cat to say that.

So poor Audrey! She seems fine now, her normal lapdog self. She’s been barking meaner and more often when people walk by the apartment, but that makes total sense. I feel bad mostly because today is my 2 year anniversary with her! Who wants to get attacked right before their 2 year anniversary with their mommy? Not Audrey. Oh and guess what else? I’m at work, doing one of my Sunday shifts, instead of enjoying this beautiful day outside with my dog and thinking about how she’s changed my life and how I love her more than I love most humans. When I get home I’ll take her for a long walk where she can sniff and roll in dirt and be happy. Audrey you are the best thing to ever happen to me, you are always there for me, you know when I’m bumming out, you wake me up in the morning and go to sleep with me at night, you are a total joy, you love having Nate around and he loves hanging out with you, you are the raddest little mutt on earth. So sorry you got busted up Friday, but I believe you were once from the streets anyway and can handle a few thug dogs.

work accomplishments

Today I microwaved bread and was pleasantly surprised.

semi-annual wiki rant

I'm so f-ing sick of hearing the word wiki. Every time a colleague uses the word wiki or the prefix wiki- I cringe and immediately discount anything they have to say. It's like nails on a chalkboard and I don't know why. I'm not anti-folksomony or community generated information. I just hate the overuse of the term wiki and the use of wikis when they aren't necessary.

Weekend Update

Thursday night I met Nate's parents. I haven't met parents since almost exactly 5 years ago, so I was pretty nervous. Overall I believe the meeting was a success. I sort of got the third degree from them, but that makes sense seeing as we've dated for 10 months and they only had 2 hours to get to know me. Then the next night it was same deal different parents. Nate met my dad and his wife. It went well, and they told me they liked him. My dad also went from "oh so you guys are like 'dating'?" to "so is he the one" in about three minutes on the walk home. Oh pops.

In addition to the dinner Friday night, I got to spend the day with my dad. He hasn't been to Chicago to visit me since I've lived here so I was nervous. He is very much a Chicago hater. I gave him a tour of my neighborhood and he was shocked. "Wow there are restaurants here! And shops! You don't even have to go downtown!" He didn't make fun of my dank apartment too badly, which helped. He even said that he thought Audrey wasn't "as bad as the last time I saw her" which is only mildly insulting. By the end of the day though he had Audrey in his lap and was baby talking her. We also went to my grandma's grave, somewhere I haven't been since the funeral almost 10 years ago.

Today I slept in then did grocery shopping. I bought a pumpkin! How festive of me. I doubt I'll carve it as I have no carving implements. Then I caught up on the last two weeks of Mad Men (yeowzas! so insanely good! Rare to see great visions of classism and sexism portrayed on tv). I was going to go to Nick's house, but at the last minute just couldn't get off the couch. So I totally ditched and have sat here ever since. I watched a crappy movie, The Chumscrubber, and now I'm watching HGTV and dreaming of having a place of my own.

The Doomsday Scenario for the CTA came out yesterday. Apparently, if they don't get the funding they need by November 4th, my bus line will be cut. Without the Damen bus I'm paralyzed. I use it to go up to Roscoe Village, down to Ukrainian Village, to the train, everywhere. It picks up right outside my house and is one of the cleaner easier bus lines. Most importantly, Nate lives right off of it as well. We depend on that bus in the winter to hang out. Without it, I'll never see him! It's like the city is forcing me to get a car. No recycling, no bus lines, this place is backwards. Hopefully my gut feeling that the scenario is all for show and scare-tactics holds true and my Damen bus will remain.

Not sure what I'll do tomorrow. Chill with Audrey and relax some more I guess. Hooray for weekends!

buhhhlog

I'm alive. I went to San Francisco last week, where it was a crisp 60 degrees and sunny, where a bum spit in our cab driver's face, where we ate 'fresh-tasting' food, and where we slept a ton. For some reason I haven't recovered from my two weekends out of town, and am constantly tired. Some may call this "welcome to fall" and I may be one of those some. I'm falling asleep earlier and waking up later. Hopefully this weekend will repair my blogging abilities. But not tonight or tomorrow because its "meet the parents" tonight and tomorrow. Nate's parents are here tonight, my dad and his wife are here tomorrow. Now that's what I call a doozy of humor and free food!

A photo from the trip:



There's a difference between bocce ball and lawn bowling? Do bocce players wear black?

you ever hear the one about...

Hey blog guess what?

Chicken butt?

No, no...

You are at work procrastinating?

Well yes, but that wasn't what I was after.

You are going on vacation tomorrow?

Ding ding! You've just won...GOLD CASE.

This vacation will also include the conscious decision to do NO INTERNETS. So no email, blogs, or internet addictions of any other kind.

Congrats Kevin Party

This past weekend I went to Minneapolis to celebrate my best friend Kevin. Why? Because he obtained (is that the right word?) his FSA. Meaning he is now a Fellow of the Society of Actuaries. So he's super fancy basically. His friend lives in a complex that lets you reserve party room space for events, so we held it there. Our high school pals Matt, Liz, and cousin Kristin all flew in to attend. It was great to see them all, and very refreshing! I didn't really know anybody there, but it didn't bother me at all. I was so proud of Kevin, and loved meeting all the people he sees on a daily basis. You can see photos of the party here. Thanks to Kristin for being the photographer that night.

Aside from the party we did lots of lounging around all weekend and catching up. Of course Paulie and I giggled and acted like ten year olds the entire time. It was a great weekend.

Up next: SF on Thursday with Nate.

Right now: Tired, doing laundry, trying to plan the trip and prepare work for my absence.