The Guest List

I'm going to the Beat Kitchen to see Mount Saint Helens' CD release. One of Nate's bands is opening, so I get to be on the guest list. The list is always interesting to me. On one hand it's great that I don't have to pay for the dozens and dozens of shows of his I go to. I used to pay because I liked his bands, but now that we are dating I don't pay. So now I feel sort of like a prostitute. It's not as crude as "we sleep together so I get paid in the price of free shows" but in a way it is. And when you look at the guest lists at shows, it's almost exclusively the girlfriends of the dudes in the bands (because other than Amelia I don't know any other women in a band in Chicago...oh wait Rachel too). Occasionally I've seen other people on lists if they have friends coming in from out of town, or if the guest list can include more than four names. So it's usually like a list of people the dudes get it on with. You could probably compile the guest lists to see who was dating whom at what time. Like a scrap book. Anyway, it sort of embarrasses me because I start to think that the doorman (always a man) sees me as some bimbo who doesn't know anything. And that's not true! It's strange - I should just be happy I don't have to drop the 8-12 bucks a show and not get all strange at the door.

art shmart

There were five art school kids waiting for the train with me, then were crammed on it with me until Monroe stop this morning. Listening to their irritating-as-hell talk of "I want to use your camera to make work" and talk of their sketch pads made me want to stick bamboo shoots up my finger nails. I won't get into their wardrobe, but I couldn't stop thinking of this cartoon:



(Thanks Alycia for the link to hours of countless hilarity in cartoon form!)

70 degrees is just fine by me

I decided it was long overdue that I expand my film-viewing horizons, and watched my first Kar Wai Wong film, Chungking Express. The film was amazing, but I don't have much energy to write about it. My two favorite aspects were Cop 663 personifying his soap, towels, stuffed animals ("You've really lost weight" said to the soap, or "stop crying" to a wet rag) and Faye in all aspects. She was amazing and I loved her character. It's been a long time since I've seen some truly enchanting romance in a film. So yay for Chungking Express, and it's time to figure out which film I need to watch from him next.

It's been another long and stressful few days at work. You can expect that at the beginning of every school year, but that doesn't diminish the level of work or irritation that comes with the first few weeks of the fall semester. I come home, late every day, feeling pretty brain-dead and cranky. Last night I actually got to hang out with Nate for more than 10 minutes and I ended up passing out at 8:30 and not waking back up. I needed the sleep, but I feel like crap for zonking out on a rare Nate-night. Thank god for the upcoming three day weekend.

I'm really hoping someone (cough cough Ed or Soup cough) have a BBQ one of these days. Other than that, 2 of Nate's 3 bands are playing this weekend (Friday and Monday) so I'll be at those places. I'd like to relax and pretend I don't have a job for three days.

happy list

My friend Stevie has had a rough few weeks, and she made a list of stuff that makes her happy over on her blog. She asked people to comment with what makes them happy, but I figured I'd turn it into a post instead. I could use some cheer-me-ups/destressors, so it'll be nice to check this again later when I'm ugh-ing. List is in random order.

-Audrey scratching on the other side of the door and whining with excitement to see me while I unlock it after a long day at work.
-Audrey running in circles with her tail stick straight and wagging when she can sense that Nate is about to come over.
-My new memory foam mattress pad making my shitty mattress way more bearable.
-breakfast burritos
-weather in the mid-70s
-knowing that in a month I'll be eating at my favorite SF places again
-Lazy Saturday afternoons watching baseball on the tv with Nate
-Audrey bringing me her stuffed squirrels when I'm in bed, and arranging them next to me.
-The fact that I have a cool boss and at least one cool co-worker
-My profession and knowing that I found my career 'calling' way sooner than most people. Years of bumbling around saved.
-Werner Herzog films
-Sterling Merlot
-My amazing new vacuum
-playing scrabble
-making a difference in a student's day
-Big Brother, Battlestar Galactica, Lost, the Office, 30 Rock, HGTV, Mythbusters...tv in all forms
-Netflix
-quality time with Nate
-making waffles (or bacon or eggs or muffins) and coffee for breakfast with Nate on a Sunday morning
-watching the Golden Girls while I fall asleep
-the prospect of wearing fall/winter clothes again soon
-quiet music
-playing fetch with Audrey in the apartment
-the first of the month when my emusic downloads reload
-paydays and my future pay raise
-an evening at a white sox game...

Weekend Update

Friday I spent the evening with Nate. We have barely been able to see each other in any quality sort of way the past few weeks, so we hung out alone. I made falafel sandwiches and then we watched Notes on a Scandal. He thought it was ok, but I really liked it. I thought it was great, and nearly perfect. The only aspect I didn't like so much was the last five minutes...but oh well.

Saturday we took Audrey to PetSmart to get her nails trimmed, and to get her some replacement toys. Some of her chew toys have been with her since day one, and they were disgusting. Now she has a new tug rope and some other junk. She seems happy.

Saturday night we went to the screening of Ozark Cousins, our friends' film. The loft was packed, and I think everyone enjoyed the film. I thought they did a great job. A bunch of us walked over to Louie's for karaoke. It was packed and sort of irritating. We decided to go home because Nate was too out of it and I had to work today.

Today was no fun. I had to work. The librarians have to rotate Sunday shifts during the school year, and lucky me got the first one. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, but it was boring. I'll watch Big Brother tonight and gear up for another brutal week at work.

Tomorrow is only a half day. We have a make-up baseball game to go to in the afternoon, so that should be fun. I really need that vacation in October to come sooner than it scheduled. Chicago's making me a bit insane lately.

Aweome moments in women's present

Nevertheless, we continue our time-honored tradition, celebrating this day [Anniversary of Suffrage]by announcing the cherished Equal Rites Awards to those who have labored over the last 12 months to set back the cause of women.
Ellen Goodman doles out the biggest set backs for woman this past year

A particular favorite of mine is the following

Our man is Ezzat Attiya, the creative Egyptian cleric who issued a fatwa saying that there was one way around the religious taboo against unmarried men and women working together. Women can breast-feed their male co-workers and legally become family.

The images of any of my female coworkers breast feeding any of my male coworkers is pretty much blowing my brain right now.

disjointed film review

I watched Little Children tonight. There were some good moments but also some really junky ones. I'd say it was a 3.5 star film. I was expecting this to be a fairly bland 'indie' film, and until the near end I felt that it was. Instead, I decided it was one of the darker films I've seen lately. I'd recommend it for people who like watching films about human isolation and middle America despair.

The film had an odd narration bit to it. At times I enjoyed the narration. The style is as if you are watching a nature documentary, and it sometimes worked well with looking into the thoughts and worlds of these people. Other times it came off as forced and hokey.

There is a disturbing scene of the indecent exposer man at the pool, swimming with his scuba gear so he can look at the children underwater. Atypical of your standard romance/drama film. Then the way they end the scene, with the man stranded in the middle of the pool, swimming underwater, makes you feel his isolation and almost feel bad for him if you weren't so disgusted with him. A very powerful scene...until you see him later in the film at the end of his blind date. Holy Shit. It's certainly no coincidence that the crier from Happiness was his blind date. Overall the film did a great job straddling the sympathy/disgust divide the viewer feels for the character.

The film does a decent job of showing how truly disconnected people are from one another, no matter how close in physical proximity they may be. It also shows how in the end, people return to the comfort zone because its easy. The Madame Bovary comparison was a good one for the film to incorporate. People can choose to live the simple yet unsatisfying life they have, or they can choose to struggle. Sadly, to me, neither one sounds very pleasurable but at least with the struggle a person is paying attention to who they are.

I particularly enjoyed the last line:

You couldn't change the past, but the future could be a different story. And it had to start somewhere.

Randoms and Film

I went to another Sox patio party with Miller last night, but this time Torri was able to make it thanks to our friends babysitting for them! I spent so much time catching up with Torri that I didn't even realize that five innings had gone by. Whoops. At least the Sox finally won...against the Royals. Yuck.

Tonight I watched Big Brother alone. Normally I watch it with Nate on Tuesdays, but he's cheating on me with the love of his life that he beats with wooden sticks in rhythm. It'll happen again tomorrow. And Thursday. So I guess I'll enjoy the loves of my life: Audrey and films from Netflix that nobody will want to watch with me. Which movies? Little Children and Notes on a Scandal. Not my usual choices in film, a bit too commercial, but I hear both are amazing so I'm looking forward to it.

Still looking for a Film-Watching Companion... I can see the personal ad now: WF ISO RainbowM/F for viewings of generally dark, slow, depressing, painfully realistic, thoughtful films. A fetish for foreign films and documentaries a plus. A plasma screen and big apartment not in the basement a bigger plus.

Maybe I'll start some sort of film watching group? I don't know. All my friends do their music stuff together all the time, so why can't I have a few people I watch movies with once a week? No reason I can't really, except my friends are too busy in bands/work/school. I guess I'm thinking about it after a conversation I had on Saturday, where I realized I don't really care about music so much anymore. I listen to it 10 hours a day, definitely have specific tastes, but I just don't care. I'd rather watch a film than go to a show or listen to some new album. My change in passions from music to film has left me feeling a bit isolated in my circle lately. Oh well. Seriously though, if anyone in Chicago ever wants to watch any movies with me, please let me know.

In fact, you can see my Netflix queue by clicking on the RSS Feed link for it over there on the right! Yay!

in brief

Films watched since Saturday:
1. Jesus, You Know
2. Superbad
3. Capote

Books with at least some pages read (none completed):
1. Tolstoy's Resurrection (so good, so glad I'm finally deep in it now)
2. The God Delusion (pretty arrogant, but I am stuck with a sense of obligation of reading it

The rain really helped in keeping me in and occupied.

Questions I answered today:
1. How do I print (15 times)
2. How do I log on (12 times)
3. Where are the books (5 times)
4. How do I sign up for classes (2 times)
5. Do you have a knife I can borrow (1 time. I shit you not I was asked this)

Remember that Master's Degree I got? Yeah it really came in handy today. Not. Also I sort of want to barf thinking about how many 'cool kids' are becoming librarians or working in libraries. I wonder if the 'cool librarians' thought this of me when I was 18 and started working in one. Cue Elton John's "The Circle of Life" please.

At least tomorrow I get to make the nerdiest display ever for work, the pieces for it came today and I can't wait. Pictures to follow

boo hoo

Am I the only person I know in Chicago who does absolutely nothing artistic or creative? Why are these people even friends with me? Makes me feel like a pathetic loser. The feeling gets worse when I'm near friends collaborating on great things and I have nothing to contribute.

At least I got a kick ass annual review today with promises of a hefty raise to come next month. Too bad none of my friends can see how awesome I am at my job in the way that I see how awesome they all are in their arts.

Homecoming

I'm returning to San Francisco October 4-7th! I've been seriously homesick for the place, and desperate to return. Nate and I have been discussing going on this trip for a few months, and I've been dying to show him my 'old life' since we started dating. So on Saturday we booked our plane tickets, and found a nice, reasonably priced hotel. I am so happy and relieved to be going on this trip. A lot of stuff was up in the air, and I was worried I wouldn't get out there for a long time. As it is, I haven't been there since last November. It'll be good to get four days of uninterrupted Nate-time. Even Audrey can't bother us! I envision sleeping in, grabbing breakfast at Tartine, lunch at Klein's Deli, Cancun, or Sunflower, wandering a neighborhood that I've missed, getting dinner at one of 1,000 places I miss, drinks with some old coworkers, rest, repeat. This trip is super important to me because of how busy he will be for the next 8 weeks. I'll admit I was getting some serious Jake deja vu with Nate becoming engulfed in bands. That stuff makes me intensely nervous, cautious, bitter, cynical, and a host of other attitudes/emotions that aren't all that fun or cute to be around. A stinky, muddy elephant has been lifted off my shoulders with this decision to take the trip, and I think it'll make me feel much more relaxed about life in general.

Tonight ended up being very cathartic, thanks to a great talk with Amanda at the Hungry Brain. DPC and MOMN both did a great job as usual. Good job dudes. It was a lot of fun to hang out with pals I hadn't seen in awhile. Yay for catching up.

Randoms

I have minimal interest in my blog this week, mostly because life has thrown enough curve balls at me the past few days. So let's see...tonight I'll go to the Double Door to see May or May Not and Driftless Pony Club play some benefit show. It'll be nice to have a lot of friends all in one room. Last night I went to a sox game with Miller, and ran into Andy who was also there. It was so hot outside that I was sick by the time I got home. Super dehydrated, dizzy, yucky. Drank gallons of water today to make up for it, and I hope I don't have a repeat of last night when I start drinking tonight.

In debt news, I made the decision to consolidate some credit card debt into a personal loan. The interest increase is minimal compared to what I'm paying now, and it'll be fixed payments over a certain amount of time, and only ONE BILL. Thank god, no more zillions of bills. I thought long and hard about doing this, as loans like this can be very dangerous, but hopefully this will work. I did my homework on it. The danger only occurs when you don't pay on time, so I'll be sure to pay this one before all other bills.

Not sure what the weekend holds in store for me. It's going to be so hot, that I'll probably stay inside and watch movies. I also told Nate I'd make him waffles and bacon (his fave breakfast) tomorrow.

Found: Mix tapes

I found four old mix tapes as I was cleaning my place in preparation for my mom. I believe two of the four creators read this, so if you want to identify yours go for it (if you aren't too ashamed).

Title: A lazy eye metaphor on the rocks
Side A:
Charles Mingus - Moanin'
Jim O'Rourke - Therefore, I am
The Kinks - I'm not like everybody else
The Who - I can't explain
Big Star - Holocaust
Pulp - Like a friend
The flaming lips - Slow nerve action
Starlight Mints - The bandit
John Coltrane - Countdown
John Mayall and the bluesbreakers - have you heard
Harry James and his orchestra - I've heard that song before

Side B:
The rolling stones - street fighting man
The Beatles - revolution
Wilco - Misunderstood
...trail of dead - how near, how far
u2 - acrobat
james - ring the bells
the beach boys - I know there's an answer
REM - Sad professor
Ella Fitzgerald - sophisticated lady
Billie Holiday - Big stuff
The smashing pumpkins - if there is a god
x - sex and dying in high society

History: Beat's me. I'm not sure when or why this was made, but it was definitely very early 00's. The sleeve for it is pretty. "DJ Usurp" you know who you are!

Title: Mass Transit.
Stickers on tape: Deez Nutz
Side A:
Rock

Side B:
Cash Money Records

History: Made by a good pal who's name looks like stove and rhymes with sleeve. I don't remember why he made it - I think I must have told him I was bored with my tapes for listening to whilst at my library job in 2000. Side A is total indie pop. Too bad the dude didn't give me a track listing, but I'm positive I remember a Saves the Day song on here. The artwork is very "Sleeve," and when he becomes famous I bet I can sell it on eBay for a zillion trillion dollars.

Title: ?? Case missing
Side A: Title - Cooking with gas (bring the ruckus)
Side B: Title - Cream Cheese? With Salad? Unorthodox economic revenge

History: No clue whats on here but I know some Clash and probably the only They Might be Giants song on earth that I like ("Don't lets start") are on it. I'm starting to really wish people put the tracks in the tapes they made me. Maybe he did and I lost the case...the case it is in is definitely not it's match. An old friend made this - the same one who joined the Israeli special forces, lived on a Kibbutz, gave me his bass guitar (clearly I went really far on that one), and with whom I've sadly lost touch.

And number four (finally! a track listing!):
Title: No one has the clap forever
Side A:
Nuzzle - unbreakable you
Nuzzle - interlude
Nuzzle - no mas
Hoover - weeds
Three Mile Pilot - the house is loss
Three Mile Pilot - silver monkey syndicate
Shotmaker - ??
Shotmaker - Bailer
Shotmaker - Reconstructing barriers
The VSS - Cosmic Retribution
the VSS - Crawling in place

Side B:
The VSS - Lunar weight
!!! - The Funky Branca
The Rapture - Unsighted
The Rapture - the chair that squeaks
Long Hind Legs - Charmed, I'm Sure
Long Hind Legs - Return to me
Angel Hair - Crash Course
Angel Hair - New Rocket
Angel Hair - New Rocket (Reprise)
Clikatat Ikatowi - the appliance
Clikatat Ikatowi - Identity Crisis
Sunshine - Dek 69

History: An old high school pal. I can credit him with my descent into insane music. I remember talking to him on IM while he was making me this, must have been late 90s? I had the biggest crush on him. Yeah, we totally made out like twice in college. Good times.

The one mix-tape I really wish I could find was this one I made for a boyfriend in college and then got too embarrassed to give it to him so I kept it for myself. I listened to it at the library all the time, even after we broke up. Its probably a pretty sweet mix. You can decide which dude I made it for. Hint: he wasn't old.

Mix tapes - I feel like I need to digitize these before I toss my cassette player. It'd be really sad to lose the ability to play these.

Tidbits

I have a ton to blog about, but the other two members of my apartment (one permanent one semi-permanent) are asleep and I don't want to disturb slumber. Here are bullets instead:

* Realizing your mom got old, and you are treating her the same way you treat grandparents, is tough.
* Sitting in a room full of cats will make anyone's throat itch.
* Being convinced that the world does not want me to take that trip for two to SF is really disheartening.
* Finding dusty mix-tapes is funny. Creating blog posts about them in your head is funnier. Probably more fun than writing the actual post (which will come).
* Heat is not funny. However, heat makes me look funny.
* Engaging in a 20+ email conversation with your four lifetime best friends about the Real Housewives of Orange County, Quinces, and MTV's True Life can fix almost anything.

HPV Vaccine?

The ACRL Women's Studies Section that I belong to sent this out to the list-serv and I thought it was pretty interesting. I've heard nothing but super-pro-yay HPV Vaccine news, so to see an article written by women cautioning against the vaccine is intriguing to me.

HPV, Vaccines, and women's health: Questions and Cautions

More visitors

My mom comes to visit tomorrow, and leaves Tuesday. I don't have to return to work until Wednesday - a much needed break! I haven't seen my mom in nearly two years, with the exception of a few hours that I slept at her house 14 months ago when I moved here. I've also never had a parent stay at my apartment (uninvited no less), so tomorrow morning is cleaning non-stop. I'm sure she'll be shocked at how small my place is, especially my bathroom. Her husband wouldn't even fit in the door of that thing. (PS He's fat). I can guarantee she's never been/slept in a "garden" apartment before! I'm not sure what we have planned other than a shopping trip (she wants to find a new dress?) and I'll use her rental car for groceries at some point. I'd like to go to the Shedd Aquarium. She gets to meet Nate, which is a big deal. First new boyfriend I've had since I was 21. I'm pretty sure she just assumed me and Jake were getting married so this is a big deal. She's also my first parent to see my "Chicago life." It seems like neither parent understands at all why I live here, so it could get interesting. I see it as no coincidence that the first time either parent discuss visiting me here is when I 'finally' got a boyfriend. They both pretty much loathe Chicago. Regardless, my mom is my mom, so despite all the nerves I have about her visit it's still pretty exciting to see my mama. The free food really helps too.