New Plan

In an attempt to:
A. Be more obsessed with my dog
B. Document my doggy every day
C. Give me something to do

I'm going to take a photo of Audrey every day. I'm no photographer and she is really hard to shoot, so they will probably suck. They'll be on my flickr account if you want to see them.

First one here I call it Sargent Audrey.

Randoms

New thing I have learned just now: Pad Woon Sen is surprisingly tasty when reheated. Reheat the egg roll in your toaster oven and it remains crispy. Eat the fortune cookie afterwards to discover that "you have a deep appreciation of the arts and music."

Photos from my trip are up at my flickr account. Not very exciting, but if you feel like looking at monuments you've probably already seen then be my guest.

My return to work seemed sort of busy, but not as bad as it could have been. I'm now trying to rest up before going to club foot to see Charles during Nate and Steve's DJ night.

End of trip

I'm about to shower and finish packing, then wait for the shuttle, then wait for the plane, then wait for the blue line, then wait for the bus then I'm home. Very excited!

This trip went well, in that I did a good job of not being homesick until the end. However, that homesickness came on pretty hard last night when I started up my usual anxiety-ridden text messages. I then had weird dreams about my friends not making me waffles fast enough, so I missed my flight today. Woke up and ordered waffles. They arrived on time.

As much as I am interested in traveling, I find that I would almost always prefer to be at home. I'm such an old lady.

DC Day 6

Today was my last full day in DC. I didn't have any conference work to do, so I slept in a bit then went to the National Holocaust Memorial Museum. I was worried that it would be full of screaming kids like everything else I've seen since I've been here. Miraculously though, everyone was very respectful. The way the space was laid out, the lighting, and the content seemed to keep the kiddies in line. It seems wrong to say "I enjoyed the museum" but I did think it was done very well.

The only disturbing part was when some little kid came up next to me at this gun display of guns used on victims. He ran up "OH MAN THIS IS MY FAVORITE GUN! SISTER, MY FAVORITE GUN!" then went on to name all the guns in the display. Uhh...maybe not the place to be talking about how much you love guns. Where was this kid's guardians?

Then I came back to my hotel to do some work, took a nap, ate dinner, and now I'm watching tv and enjoying my last night alone. My plane leaves tomorrow late morning, so I'll be back in Chicago early afternoon. Usually I fly in late in the evening from events, so I'm glad my day won't feel wasted from travel. I'm excited to see Audrey, and to rescue Nate from Audrey's bad sleeping habits.

More on street harassment

Not sure why I've been so obsessed with street harassment lately. Maybe because my youngest cousin faced her first instance of it yesterday on her way to her internship, so we ended up talking about it quite a bit.

Here's a video from Penn State that interviews inebriated dudes about their views on what constitutes sexual harassment. Pretty typical "girls want it, they ask for it" shit. Good to watch if you want to get angry, or if you want to wonder why 18-22 year old men wear their baseball caps like total douche bags.

DC Day 5

Today started out really interestingly. I met Jacob's mom for the first time! She is also a librarian, and is here for the conference, so he hooked us up via cell phone. We got breakfast at Old Ebbitt Grill which is only a block from my hotel. It was strange in that we obviously have so many connections but we don't know each other. The brunch was good (french toast with strawberries and blueberries, she had the strata) and we got along well. So yay for meeting your friends' parents without your friends actually being there.

Then I had to attend a committee meeting, my last required event for the conference. It wasn't so bad and I met Alycia's future coworker which was cool. I gave the new coworker the seal of approval and also told her how I give Alycia the seal of approval.

At noon the meeting was over and it marked me officially being FREE of the conference. I trekked over to the Library of Congress to take a tour. The tour guide sort of sucked (think typical old man docent), but you could only get into certain parts if you took the tour so I stuck it out just long enough to see those spots. Then I explored the rest on my own and bought Nate some super dorky gifts from the gift shop. I bought myself a series of magnets based on the building, since my fridge really needs magnets.

The afternoon was still pretty early so I decided to go to the National Air and Space Museum for a second. I went there as a child, but figured what the hell, may as well go again. I breezed through it fairly quickly and looked at the big space ships and planes without reading anything about them. I took lots of photos, including photos for other people. Apparently being alone makes you the ultimate target for being asked to take photos of families. The best family had this dad who framed the shot for me, informed me in very broken English how to get the ship in the shot, and then made me take a few all the while shouting "get the baby in the stroller!" When I was done, he checked my work for approval then let me go. Odd. And just like at the Library of Congress, I bought Nate more stupid gifts from here. I hope they make up for him dog sitting for a week. I also hope he chooses to keep some of them at my house because I could actually use what I got him.

At this point I was dripping in humidity and sweat, so I went back to my hotel to rest a bit and clean up. Then I met my two female cousins for dinner at this good pan-Asian place where I had my first bowl of vermicelli (bun) in probably 7 months. Mmmm I miss Vietnamese food. Finally we capped of the evening with drinks in Dupont Circle with some of my cousins college friends who are in town for a protest tomorrow.

Tomorrow I'm going to the Holocaust museum, then who knows. It's my last full day here, since my plane is leaving Wednesday early afternoon.

So far I haven't really missed Chicago or wanted to go back. This vacation is the perfect mix of work, friends, touring, and solitary time. It may be one of my best trips ever as a result. DC is very solo friendly and I don't feel uncomfortable touring things on my own. In fact, it makes life so much easier not having to pace myself in accordance with whomever is with me.

DC Day 4

I was supposed to go to a panel this morning but slept in. I couldn't fall asleep last night, so waking up this morning wasn't an option. Instead I took my precious time getting to the exhibits to go talk to some vendors I needed to talk to for work. This is my least favorite part of a conference - the talking to sales people to see whats new in library land. But I braved it, and moved on as quickly as possible.

Then I totally randomly ran into the rest of my SF pals I didn't see at dinner last night, which ruled! Yay! Old friends weee! After catching up a bit, I chilled at the hotel then met up with my cousin Kristin. Her, my other cousin, and I drove to Arlington where their oldest brother and his wife lives. We grilled turkey burgers and talked for a few hours. It was really nice to see all of them. Now I'm back in my room and watching Big Love on the free HBO I'm getting. Vacations rule.

Tomorrow I have to attend a meeting for a committee I'm on, but then my conference obligations are over! I just got my holocaust museum timed pass for Tuesday at noon. Tomorrow afternoon I'll try and hit up the Library of Congress and/or the National Archives.

DC Day 3 part 2

(yeah I changed my blog's look - still a work in progress. I got bored this afternoon)

This afternoon I went to a small group discussion on evaluating reference services. It was...okay...could have been better could have been worse. It felt good to be able to speak from my own experience as a professional reference librarian and have people really listen to what I was saying.

Then I came back to the hotel and relaxed a bit before my dinner with my old SF coworkers. I also spoke to my friend Jacob's mom on the phone! She's a librarian too and is here for the conference. We are going to eat breakfast together on Monday, which should be fun and also very strange. Fun because we have so many common things, strange because we have never met. I'm excited, as I've heard so much about her.

This evening my old SF coworkers and I went to Merkado, a Latin place. I had grilled veggie enchiladas and some awesome chocolate cake. It was so so so good to see these people. I had a great time catching up, telling them all about my life in Chicago, about my job, about my dog. They all remembered Audrey's name, and wanted to see photos! That job was the best ever, with the most amazing people who truly cared about each other. I'm always sad that I had to leave it due to no jobs there. I also promised them I'd be back to visit in September. Best part is that the St Jerome's Day Celebration that is infamous at my old library is the same weekend as Folsom St Fair so now I absolutely have to go!

They all said I looked so much happier and healthy now, which made me feel good. I've definitely 'grown' since leaving San Francisco and am happier. Nice to see people notice the changes and improvements I've made over the past year. Perhaps the best part of the night was when one of them told me that it was a mass oversight of the Dean to appoint this other guy to this one job and not interview other amazing candidates such as myself. Woot! I've said it before, but I really wish I could just move my social life from Chicago to SF and have the best of both worlds a la Jay-Z and R Kelly duets. I did tell them to call me if anything ever opens up there, as I know some people may be retiring in five years or so.

Tomorrow I have to attend the program where my presentation is announced, then I plan on going to the irritating exhibit hall. It'll be weird to be there as a professional, having to hand out my business card and talk about book purchases, etc. It means I'll get lots of irritating sales calls in the future.

Then in the late afternoon I'm going to have cousin reunion happy fun time with my three cousins! I haven't seen some of them in a long time so this will be awesome. It also means I get to see other parts of the DC area than just downtown.

Side note: Ooooh I just saw a Big Brother 8 commercial, show starts July 5th! I know its so dorky to love this show but my SF coworkers got me obsessed with it, and I cannot wait for the new season to begin.

Finally, it's been really nice to have a hotel room to myself. I'm getting lots of hokey 'me' time where I don't have to talk or move or do anything other than exactly what I want to do at pretty much all times. I'm not homesick for Chicago yet, but I'm sure in a few days I'll be ready to see Nate and Audrey again. For now though, it's been nice to get away.

DC Day 3 part 1

I attended a panel on racism in academic libraries. I thought it would be about service-end racism but it was about hiring policies and racism towards librarians in the workforce. The panel consisted of three people. The first gave a background of racism and affirmative action in US education. I was sort of annoyed because I know all this. And considering the audience, all academic librarians and mostly nonwhite/people of color, I'm positive they too know the supreme court cases. I do not need another explanation of Brown v Board or Bakke v California. No mention of academic libraries in this person's speech.

The second speaker just conducted a survey of African American librarians about their attitudes towards their jobs. She had done this same survey in 1996, and she was sharing the results. Unfortunately, she has not yet synthesized the results so she ended up just reading numbers with no analysis. Having just conducted a statistical presentation myself, I was really irritated with this.

The final speaker was rambling and difficult to follow. In fact, I'm not sure what her point was other than racism and classism intertwine. Yeah, I think everyone in the room knows that already. No mention of any other groups than African Americans in any of the three presentations.

Then there were some audience responses, one was pretty amazing, from a man who was like "this isn't stereotype, it's just fact that Japanese people are quiet and subservient. Black people are loud. It doesn't mean they can't talk quietly, but culturally they are loud." (He was African American by the way) People were pretty irritated with him.

My problem with these panels at ALA is this: the people that attend these panels are already aware of the issues and the background, but the panels cover ONLY issues and background definitions without any in-depth analysis as to what to do next or what these issues mean for the profession. How many times have I heard the exact same phrases over and over? Racism is a problem. People are afraid to use the words racism or sexism. Yes, I know, tell me something more substantial please. I come to these presentations to be enlightened or educated. I already have two degrees, I know what you are telling me.

In the end, all the race, gender, and class panels at conferences always end up being big preaching to the choir fests. Few, if any, people attend the panels that don't already know the information that is being presented. The presenters need to take this information to people other than those that attend the panels! They always end up being a 90 minute rehash of every other presentation I've been to. And yet, I continue to attend them. I think I need to stop attending them, or be one of the coordinators of a panel next year and force my panel to get down and dirty about it.

Alycia, I really could have used you as my buddy for this because I know you would have had all the same reactions as I. Conferences just aren't as fun without you!

DC Day 2

My bestie cousin spent the night last night, since her mock Bar exam was very close to my hotel this morning and she could use the a/c to cool her for the big day. It was like olden times, when we would spend the night as kids. Best part is that I totally forgot to bring pajama pants, so I only have my Birthday Girl/29 Forever t-shirt to wear to bed. Kristin definitely got some sneak peaks at my hoo-ha (don't worry I had undies on). So like I said, like old times.

I woke up today, checked in at the conference, and came back to drop off all the crap they give you back at my hotel. If there's one thing that irritates me about librarians at conferences, its the hordes of people weighed down with dorky library freebies. This is my fourth conference, and my 'peers' never cease to amaze me in their goofiness.

Kristin called me to get lunch, and we walked up to Dupont Circle for food at Teaism. I had a tofu noodle salad and some Moroccan mint tea. It was very good and very refreshing on a hot day. I was glad to have K with me to point out various spots along the way. She walked me back to the National Mall and I wandered around all the sites.

I went to the Vietnam War Memorial, WWII Memorial, Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial, White House, and the reflecting pool. I sat in the shade at the top of the stairs of the Lincoln Memorial and listened to my ipod for a half an hour to cool down a bit and just enjoy being somewhere different.

There were kids everywhere, and I thought "wow DC is a bad vacation for kids." My parents brought me here in second grade, and I came again in 8th grade with my school. At that age I had no interest or appreciation for what I was seeing. Today, I saw little kids running around also with no clue why they were there or what the monuments represented. I heard parents saying "Johnny this is very important, lots of people died in this war, pay attention this is history!" and Johnny just sitting there wondering when he'd get more ice cream. Some dad was asking his pubescent sons what the speech in the Lincoln Memorial meant and they mumbled an "I dunno," so the dad was like "well read it again." Yeah lots of fun. The kids should come when they are older and really get it. Until then it seems like sort of a waste of money for the family. For me as an adult today, I was able to really comprehend and digest what I was seeing in the context of the knowledge I have.

Along the way I realized, "hmm I should probably have brought sunscreen" and wow was that thought correct. I am super red now, which is embarrassing for when I have to go to my various meetings over the next few days. I bought some sunscreen later but it's probably too late now.

After playing tourist I stopped back in my hotel to rest a bit. I ended up passing out for a few hours because my bed is super comfortable and it is nice and quiet in here. When I woke up I walked over to Chinatown for dinner. Kristin said Chinatown here isn't like Chinatown in Chicago or SF or anywhere else - that its pretty bland. She was right - the buildings were boring and plain. I ate at a cheap restaurant that looked like the type of place where I wouldn't feel like a douche eating alone. I brought along Jacob's book and read it while I ate and pretended I was reading a legal briefing or something else important. After dinner I walked back slowly, and here I am itching my burnt skin and watching tv in bed.

So my thoughts on DC so far: I know there are "bad" neighborhoods in DC but so far everything I've seen has been very clean and polished. The shops I've seen so far don't have a whole lot of character, but then again I'm only in the downtown area. Sunday I'll see more of the city. I do like all the massive government buildings though. It's pretty intense when you are walking around and thinking "whoa this is where all the big decisions are made" and you are just walking around through it all.

People here are really preppy. I haven't seen this much khaki or this many chinos in years. Not my style. But everyone seems super intelligent and political (duh) which makes eavesdropping fun.

Perhaps one of the highlights of the day was when we were crossing an intersection and Kristin grabbed me and was like "omg there's Robert Novak, he's crossing the street right next to us!" We giggled about my first 'star' sighting and acted like dorks when we passed him. We wanted to boo or hiss at him but figured that was probably a bad idea.

Tomorrow I'm going to a presentation on racism in academic libraries, dropping some stuff off at exhibits, and getting dinner with my old SF coworkers. I'm looking forward to seeing them despite my cooked lobster skin tone.

Landed in DC

I just got into my hotel room in DC, and am happy to learn it has free wireless. My job's paying for the trip so I may go wild and order room service later too! Scary.

The people in the seats next to me on the plane were pretty amazing. One was from Switzerland, under 18, and one was in college at some school in southern Illinois that is small. The Swiss guy kept talking about how the US made him feel like a baby with all the rules and restrictions on age. The girl told him all about her sorority and how all the girls live in a house together, and all the boys in frats live in houses together. Swiss man said "what is wrong with the US? Why so segregated? Why can't you have alcohol in your house? I don't understand why the men can and you can't!" Co-ed giggles and is like "i dunno those are just the rules, beats me." So here you have this Swiss guy who has been saying that Americans are mostly dumb and here you have a real life dumb American in her natural habitat. But the absolute best part of the conversation was when she told him:

"I can tell when people are Italian because they have darker skin and hair. I can also tell Polish people and Jewish people too. I can just tell in their faces if they are Polish or Jewish."

Uhh...I really wanted to ask her what she thought I was but refrained because she then said to the guy, "you look Jewish, are you?"

Guy: "No. I'm atheist"

Co-ed: "Huh? What? You don't believe in God? Weird."

Guy: "Nobody is really religious in Switzerland, its much more an American thing to be very religious."

Co-ed: "Whoa"

Me: (returns to reading the God Delusion)
_________________

So here I am, checking the free weekly here for food ideas for tonight and the cover story is about women being harassed by cat-callers on the street. The author can't believe it happens to some women more than once a day, so he follows this woman around who gets it nonstop. Best quote:

“It depends on what she looks like,” adds Daniel Smallwood, a 16-year-old in a red polo shirt and a visor turned backward. “If she’s a slut, you have to treat her like a slut. If she’s not, I say, ‘How you doing young lady?’ Everybody says ‘baby’ or ‘shorty.’ I say ‘young lady.’

Off to sneak in a quick nap then find dinner.

Food rut

Cleo's Waitress: What will you have?
Me: Grilled cheese please!
CW: You get that every time you come here don't you?
Me: Uhh..yeah... (shame!)
Nate: LOL and you thought I was the one to never try new things!

Treated.

I will sing you songs

-I need to bring my camera to DC and actually USE it. I'm way behind my pals on flickr as far as how many photos I have up.

-I need to find a dress for the Zam Wedding o' the Year (ZWOTY?). I found one a few weeks ago but only in biggie sizes. I'm not a biggie size. Maybe they have more in when I try tonight.

-I need to work harder at my job. duh.

-I need to update Causing Debtcidents to show all the progress I've made like paying off two cards and opening an Orange Savings Account.

-I need to hire a cleaning lady before my mom comes in August.

-I need to not eat like a douche all the time then whine about those pesky few pounds.

-I need to attend more games like last night's White Sox game, where they actually WON and Dye actually RULED.

-I need to read the CTA construction updates so I don't get stuck in the tunnel again at 11 pm on a Monday night while they run the trains on a single track.

-I need a haircut.

Skeevy Daddies

ewwww!

Purity Ball bit:


Only the first 6-7 minutes are what I'm ewwwing about. Seen first at (where else) Feministing.

Favorite parts include where Leslie Unruh declares her love for George Bush Jr and when the mother says that women were created to feel accepted by men. If only I had known that earlier in life...

Going to DC

I'm going to DC for a week starting this Thursday. I haven't been since 8th grade, so I'd appreciate any recommendations on things to do/places to eat. I'll be alone for much of it, so any cool solo trips would be nice to know! Let me know what you think is worth it in the comments.

Weekend in Review

Friday night Nate and I got dinner with Soup, Sarah, Wendy and Jacob at El Barco Mariscos. We ate outdoors and had a good time telling bus horror stories and "idiots at work" stories we knew. Then Nate and I stopped at his house to pick some stuff up, and headed to the Empty Bottle to see Big Business (band in photo). On the way there we ran into Jennifer and Aaron at Cleo's and got a drink with them. Too bad we didn't have the foresight to just stay there because the show sucked. The band didn't suck, but the sound was so muddled you really couldn't get the full Big Business experience. The drumming was awesome though, too bad the bass and guitar were impossible to understand through the sound. Pretty disappointing, and worse that we paid 10 bucks for the pleasure of sitting around some seriously stinkin' dudes. The highlight was the incredibly awesome head banging that was going on up front. Like super long hair flying in circles, haven't seen in ages style.

Saturday it was hot as hell out. I had to go to my pharmacy that is nowhere near my house because when I tried to pick up my meds there Friday I discovered that idiot me left her debit card in the ATM again on Thursday night. Why is the pharmacy nowhere near my house? Because it's near work. Why couldn't it wait until Monday? Because its birth control. After that I hung out at Nate's house for awhile, then we went down to Pilsen for a big birthday dinner for Dan's birthday. We went to Nuevo Leon and it was super tasty and insanely cheap. Afterwards we went to this empty bar with an old man bartender who acted like he really didn't want us there. I sat down at the bar and looked down and saw four tiles that made an image of a naked Asian woman. Well, she had a thong on. Still, whaaaa?? Where did this guy get tiles made of naked ladies? Amelia took a photo of me with it so hopefully she send it to me. Hint hint.

We ended the night at Dan's place and watched some DVD the name of which I already forget, but it was about a house in Chicago that was getting torn down and all these bands played in it right before it got demolished. It was pretty depressing. However, I was pretty proud of myself for realizing that the singer of Red Eyed Legends is also the singer in the Monorchid. Who knew he was still doing stuff? I obviously didn't.

Today...Nate and I took Audrey for a walk in the sweltering heat, and then I cooled her off with a bath which she didn't appreciate. We watched the Cubs game, I fell asleep during it (I always fall asleep during baseball on tv), and now he's off drumming and I'm here watching Engaged and Underaged and laughing at the kids on it.

So overall...good weekend, did new stuff, hung out with good people (as usual), sweated a lot, relaxed a lot. Next weekend I'll be in DC, hopefully seeing my cousins there on Sunday!

"People are so cruel" Seidl's Dog Days review

After seeing Animal Love I wanted to see more Ulrich Seidl movies, so I started with Dog Days (Hundstage). I've waited a day to see if my thoughts could come together on it, and they can't yet. The film follows six people in Vienna, in the suburbs, in the heat of the summer. All six people are extremely isolated despite their relationship status. One widowed man manipulates his housekeeper into being just like his dead wife ("wear her dress, the green one, it was her favorite"), a divorced woman who still lives with her ex attends mass orgies but when you see her alone in her room you know she's empty. You see another woman preparing herself for her husband/boyfriend/significant other by shaving herself in front of the mirror. There are many lingering shots of people alone staring at themselves, sitting in their underwear, not moving. These shots are incredible. The best ones are the images of people sitting outside in their swimsuits baking under the sun. The colors are incredible and the staging of the shots are perfect. It's like looking at a photograph.

I really enjoy films about depressing solitary characters, but I'm having difficulty with this one because of the amount of abuse in it. With the exception of the divorced orgy woman, all the females in the show are verbally or sexually abused (or both). I was talking to Graham the other day about how I don't feel right supporting or viewing films with rape scenes in them, and if it's ever 'ok' to watch a film with an explicit rape scene. Graham said that you can't deny the existence of rape in reality so perhaps it's ok to be in film; however, most films can't appropriately handle a rape scene without making it vulgar. I said that most viewers aren't able to watch those scenes without sexualizing much of what they are seeing on the screen. As in, it is difficult to separate seeing intercourse on the screen and the fact that its forced and very much unwanted. This film doesn't have any outright rape, but it has some scenes that are very very very uncomfortable to watch. There are a few scenes of a young man beating his girlfriend and calling her a whore, despite her having done nothing 'wrong.' *Spoiler Alert*The worst scene seemed to last forever, where the woman who had shaved for her sig. other awaits his arrival by remaining bent over a chair in lingerie. He comes home, and has a friend with him. He doesn't tell her this person is there, says lots of nasty sex stuff to her, and then has his friend fondle her without her knowing its another person. They then proceed to force her to get drunk and beat the shit out of her. Thankfully you don't see the worst of the beating, but you definitely see some really horrid shit.End Spoiler



So I don't know how to handle this personally. I thought the film was very good. I loved the camera work, the imagery, and I was invested in the characters. However, how can I watch what I just saw? And was the way Seidl handled the abuse 'acceptable?' And what does 'acceptable' mean anyway? Have I ever seen a movie that handles sexual and physical violence in a way that isn't glorifying the violence? These are questions I haven't been able to answer yet and I'm not sure if I'll be able to. I think other than the scene I mentioned above, the film handled the violence well, or at least in a way that I could stomach. I'm going to watch a few more Seidl films and see what I think overall. And I'm giving this one four stars on netflix (out of five).

Fem v Fem

Alternet interviews the author of Sisterhood Interrupted.

An interview with the author of Sisterhood Interrupted provides historical context for contemporary feminist infighting: the overblown mommy wars, raunch feminists and their older, horrified detractors, and bloggers virtually ripping one another apart.

The interview was good, and interesting enough that I'll pick up the book after I finish The God Delusion. As expected the comments are mostly all drivel with a few gems in the mix. And again, consciousness raising is thrown about. Not that I think CR is bad, just interesting to me. CR via blogging and feminist blogs is fascinating, and something I haven't thought of much. Why can't CR be revived again? And why not through blogs? Makes me want to do a much better blogging job, as well as gets me thinking more about group blogs I should start but surely never will.

Tuesday morning shout-outs

Despite getting no sleep (Audrey, why must you lick yourself all night and not find a comfortable spot and demand to sleep in between me and Nate's heads?), I woke up with that ole spring in the step anyway. Listened to my favorite totally dorky mix, and thought about people I'd want to give 'shout-outs' to.

1. Alycia for getting everyone's dream job at Pratt. I've always envied her work, and secretly use her awesomeness as my motivation for doing anything at my job so I'm super pumped that she got the job she wanted. Coolest librarian on earth.

2. My pal Craig and his Wheezy Waiter video blog (vlog?). Best thing on the internet since...the hamster dance? No seriously, amazing videos that I look forward to watching every morning. Rick P, I look to you to watch them and enjoy.

3. Nate's band playing at the Empty Bottle tonight after a few months off. I'm excited that our friends will come out and see their two incredible new songs.

4. The soldier beetle who was chillin' on my favorite bra this morning. Beetle u did that!

Reading Update

I'm almost done with Devil in the White City, and have given up on reading the parts about the fair. Instead I'm just finishing the serial killer parts. I'm not one to skip parts in books, but I just don't give a shit about the fair. And you only live once right? Why waste it on a book thats boring you.

I'm on page 80-ish of my pal Jacob's book, Choreboy and really like it. I need to set aside more time to read it though because I want to finish it up soon so I can give him my feedback.

I just grabbed The God Delusion. I've been waiting for this book for months, and finally it was my turn. I know there's a lot of criticism thrown at this book, obviously from religious people but also from Atheists, calling Dawkins a blow-hard, etc...but I'm excited to read it anyway. Even if it is just some rally-cry for Atheism.

On the first page:

I suspect - well I am sure - that there are lots of people out there who have been brought up in some religion or other, are unhappy in it, don't believe it, or are worried about the evils that are done in its name; people who feel vague yearnings to leave their parents' religion and wish they could, but just don't realize that leave is an option. If you are one of them, this book is for you. It is intended to raise consciousness - raise consciousness to the fact that to be an atheist is a realistic aspiration, and a brave and splendid one. You can be an atheist who is happy, balanced, moral, and intellectually fulfilled.

So yes, a bit fluffy, and yeeks he used the term "consciousness raising" quite a bit, but I think it'll be nice to read something that says what I've believed since as far back as I can remember. I know Christopher Hitchens just put out a similar book, so maybe I'll grab that one too. I'm not a fan of Hitchens' writing style though.

Weekend in Review

This weekend was a break from the ordinary, and it was very much appreciated. Friday night after some fish 'n' chips at Cleo's on the patio, Nate and I hooked up with Jacob, Wendy, Dan, VA, some people who's names I forgot, Sean and Kathryn for a skate deck art show in Pilsen. Apparently the first Friday of the month (or maybe second) is gallery night down there so the neighborhood was bustling. I was really surprised at how much life there is in Pilsen! After the skate deck show (which wasn't that great to be honest) we went to the Skylark, a bar owned by the dudes who own the Rainbo. At first I thought "holy shit this place is pretentious" but a few drinks made me forget that. Sean, Kathryn, Nate and I ended up closing out the bar talking about who knows what. So the night was great: different neighborhood, different people, different bars...it was good. It made me want to move to Pilsen too. Every time I go there I want to move there.

Saturday I helped Nate buy nice interview clothes for potential job interviews. We went to Macy's and two really old men helped him try on clothes. It was basically awesome and yet irritating at the same time. The guys were a pretty good help in pointing out the flat front pants, but were also very much commission-oriented. One even admitted to us he desperately wanted us to come back to his section for his commission. After Macy's it was total "Fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at lunch" style where Nate tried everything on. Good times.

Saturday night we went to Kraska's place for Rachel's surprise birthday BBQ. I love sitting outside in the summer, and I especially love cupcakes so good thing I got both of those there. After we went to Resi's, a German beer hall, with Ed and Andy. I had never been there either. Rick and Soup came with and I learned all sorts of new sex moves the dudes know that are impractical, disgusting, and yet awesome all at once.

After a good night's rest, Nate and I hit up the Wicker Park Farmers Market Sunday morning. What a disappointment!!! It wasn't even a block long! There were probably a dozen vendors. Serious waste of time. I won't be going back; however, I got a basil plant and some bread for a bridal shower later. I'm hoping I can keep the basil alive because it will save me a shitload of money in my pesto-making frenzies.

I made Nate stop in the Santeria shop for candles, but the owner made me feel uncomfortable and Nate was on his cellphone, which I thought was "uncouth" so I didn't get the candles I needed. Now I know where they are though, so I can go back soon. I was really happy to see those here, as they remind me of San Francisco. Then we got breakfast burritos at Earwax, and came back to my place where I started watching the White Sox game. I fell asleep in the second inning and woke up four hours later. Whoops.

Sunday night was Amelia's surprise bridal shower. About a dozen gals met up at VA's place for it with food and wine. It was nice to have stupid girl talk, eat good food, and just sit around. And guess what? It was in Pilsen too! Two nights in Pilsen in one week! Weee! I'll probably have a raging headache tomorrow after wine and champagne, but it was worth it. The shower got me even more excited for the wedding, which is in two weeks.

This week I still want to see Knocked Up, and tomorrow I'm determined to find a dress for the wedding. My massive project at work is done, so I'm really relaxed about the office right now. As usual life is pretty much awesome, and I'm repeatedly reminded of how excited I am to live here.

Irks

I'm just killin' time here at work and thinking about irritating shit that has crossed my mind today during my boredom. Figured I'd make it a list on my blog:

* the word wiki and the "wiki-fying" of everything.
* any web- prefix. Webisode, webinar...you've been on my list for over a year now
* boots. just not for me.
* my apartment being infested with soldier beetles two years in a row
* the pharmacy not opening until 9 am on weekdays
* my constant picking at my lips when i'm nervous or bored
* the dream I had last night where a bunch of anarchists raped me at a protest and i begged them to stop because "I'm a librarian, that means I'm cool"(???)
* folksonomy making it harder and harder for me to find shit on the internet
* the White Sox huffing mad dong
* my horrible scrabble losing streak

Boring Week

Four days and no post? I'm really letting my blog down. Tuesday night Nate and I watched the first two episodes of The Lost Room with Peter Krause. It veered between interesting and corny in a really strange way. Some of it felt really predictable, but I think I'll at least continue with the rest of the episodes on the DVD. We had heard that it got good reviews, and then a friend told me the exact opposite when I told him we were watching it.

Last night I went with Miller to a White Sox / Yankees game that was, in Miller's terms, "garbage bag." The experience was fun as always, but the sox seriously need to pick it up.

I've been killing probably 20 of those beetles a day. Not enjoyable, but since I know to expect it I'm not too irritated with it.

I have a lot I want to accomplish this weekend. I need to find a dress for Zamelia's wedding, want to go to the Wicker Park farmer's market, want to play scrabble at Swim Cafe on Sunday, have to choose between two different shows on Saturday, and I want to see Knocked Up. Oh and I want to find the motivation and inspiration to write about something other than "I did this on Monday, this on Tuesday...." snoozeville!

Animal Love / Tierische Liebe

I watched Tierische Liebe tonight. As I mentioned in a previous post, I found out about the director through a podcast with Werner Herzog, when he remarked on the film: "I have never looked so directly into hell." For a man who could make Even Dwarves Started Small, which I think is one of the most depressing films (and one of my faves), I felt like I had to see what Herzog considers to be a glimpse into hell.



The documentary, by Ulrich Seidl, shows various people in many stages of withdrawal from humanity and civilization. Some have had their hearts broken, some have never had a chance to have their hearts broken, some are simply disillusioned with life, some are just really old. All have retreated into a space where their only connection to love is by loving animals. "Loving" animals, unfortunately, didn't mean all of the people took care of their pets. There were even a few very disturbing scenes of a woman coming way too close to fondling her dog. There was also a brutal dog on dog attack scene, as well as some ferret issues. My mouth dropped open and stayed open many times.

What may be worse however, was how utterly miserable the humans were (with the exception of a swinger couple). Perhaps the saddest scene is the old man on one couch, his dog on the other, and the old man is talking to a phone sex operator. No masturbating, no movement. Just talking, as if he just really needed another voice around. Later you see him in portraiture style standing naked with his dog. The film has several still shots of people in the same room with animals, all incredibly disconnected despite the close proximity.

The film documents two central themes - that of the bond between humans and animals, and that of the complete alienation and utter isolation of humans. It doesn't bother to look into why humans are alienated, or why they love animals so much. It just presents images and brief monologue and leaves it to the viewer to digest.

I can see why Herzog said it's like looking into hell. The film is incredibly depressing now that I've had some time to reflect. I was mostly shocked during most of the viewing, and now I'm feeling bad for everyone in the documentary. Herzog often finds main characters for his feature films and his docs that are wildly determined, isolated and "out there" people, and any person in this film could have fit into Stroszek or The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser.

One word of warning: Don't do a google images search "animal love" unless you want to see animal love in the very literal sense.

Shocked! To think I used to pity you...

Spent a leisurely day yesterday napping and watching both the Cubs and Sox ruin their leads. Way to go guys. In fact, I got so fed up with my Sox I stopped watching them. It was disgusting. Then I got dinner with Andy and Jane at Fernando's, and later headed to Soup's to watch a Bollywood film.

I couldn't fall asleep last night, partially because I kept my windows open. You'd think that would feel nice and be good for the air in here but Audrey barks at every single sound when the windows are open. And thanks to Audrey I still woke up early today with licks to my face begging me to feed her. Audrey, you're lucky I love you more than anything and anyone on earth. I'd never respond to a human licking me on the face for breakfast, then pick up their turds when they crap outside.

Just ran over to the coffee shop, and learned that since they changed ownership they don't have any newspapers anymore! I was looking forward to a bagel/egg sandwich, coffee and the NYT on a Sunday. I'll have to settle for the Sox game in an hour.

I need to go get those sticky traps I had last year to catch bugs, but I have a feeling its not going to get done today unless I'm super motivated.

I've been feeling really socially awkward lately. I get the impression that everything I say when I'm out with people sounds really stupid or not cool or asinine. Then I get more stressed out over it, end up overcompensating with nervous blabber and it only gets worse. Maybe I just need to hang out with losers from now on. Or figure out how to not feel judged, as I'm sure it's all in my own nervous head. Or maybe I just really am a total loser and don't deserve my friends? Not sure how to fix myself to stop feeling this way. This happened in SF for awhile, went away when I moved here, and unfortunately is coming back. I've also been having mild panic attacks recently, about once a week. That means I should probably figure out what's causing them and if my anxiety meds are off or something.

Thank god I'm a librarian

Found the match! After killing ten or more today...It appears I have some sort of soldier beetle. Although it looks most like the one in the photo on that page, I'm reading more and more about just common soldier beetles and the times they come out (mostly early summer). Looks like there's really nothing I can do but keep on killing them until they all die. Regardless, its pretty gross.

Soldier beetles resemble lightning bugs but do not have light-producing organs. [...] Since soldier beetles are beneficial and harmless it is unnecessary to control them. Larvae that enter a house in the fall are only a nuisance. Entry can be prevented by weather-stripping, caulking and other measures that seal likely points of entry. Spraying of either the exterior perimeter or the interior has little if any benefit. Soldier beetles already inside the house need only be swept or picked up and discarded. source

Ugh, great. So as long as I live in this apartment I'll be dealing with these douchebags.

Oooh there goes one up my curtains now....

Edit: Chicago specific information about the beetle that makes perfect sense.

I need an entimologist

I took a picture of said insects, which unfortunately are not boxelder bugs as they were valiantly identified in the comments below. Anyone seen this lil guy before?



Click for a bigger image. Still blurry though. Curses cheap camera! They can be found in any room, but lately I've been seeing them in the bathroom more than other rooms.

Edit: Their bodies are very slender, and they are about an inch in length (not including those antennae).

Films, Events, Nonevents, and Buggin'

I watched Iraq in Fragments on Wednesday. It's a non-narrated documentary in three parts, following three Iraqis in present day. The saddest was definitely the first one, a child who doesn't go to school, is manipulated by his boss (he's 8), his father was a vocal Saddam dissenter and was jailed and never seen again...his life is so full of despair. However, when the DVD started skipping in the final fifteen minutes I didn't bother fixing it. I Just stopped watching. I knew it was going to show more depressing images and more despair, so eh. I had been sitting on this film for a few weeks. I'm glad I watched it, but it also didn't tell me anything new.

I'm really hoping Tierische Liebe (Animal Love) arrives today like netflix says it will. Graham gave me the heads up on a brief Herzog interview, where he says that you can't sit through this movie without some brandy first as it is the most dark look into hell possible (paraphrased). Awesome! When I read the description its about people who really really love their pets. We'll see how that turns out.

Last night my aunt and uncle from San Francisco were in town. They took me to dinner and then to dessert, and I tried my hardest to impress them with my neighborhood. I felt like I was really overcompensating ("See guys? Chicago ain't all that bad!"). They didn't seem impressed with my apartment (who would), but they did like my neighborhood and the restaurants we went to. It was nice to see them. Afterwards, they dropped me off at Soup's house where we did a mini-wine tasting, complete with a wine that "tastes like pickles." I stayed up too late, came home and passed out.

Not sure whats on tap for today, but hopefully it'll include mexican food, relaxation, White Sox on tv, and being lazy.

Sunday I'll have to go to Home Depot or Target. Those really weird bugs from last summer have returned. Not the gnats, but those ones that sort of look like lightning bugs but without the light. They also look sort of like wild rice on legs. They appear really crispy but I don't think they are. No matter, I hate them anyway (been killing about 6 a day) and want them gone.