Information Overload

Warning: Library jargon and drivel to the maxx below. Perhaps only my fellow librarians need read this mess.

Day 2 of this 6 day workshop is over. Well...the group sessions are over. It's almost 9 pm and I still have homework to do for my practice teaching session I present tomorrow. Day 1 was just an intro day, where we had a social mixer and met everyone. It wasn't so bad. I met this woman from UC Berkeley which made me super excited. And she's young and awesome too! It gave me the chance to talk about SF and bitch about the food here in this college town, and how the food in SF is so amazing. Yay! She said she'd also help me out if I wanted to move back and get a job. Connections like that are so crucial.

Today was super intense. I am learning things I feel like I needed to learn in library school but wasn't taught. I know it's not just my library school, as I've had these conversations with Alycia about how we felt like there was so much we didn't learn. And that's fine. Most of librarianship is on the job learning, much like being an apprentice. In that respect, I'm really excited I have the opportunity to be here and learn teaching methods. Today was all on how to present in a class. As the former second place state debate champ (1998, what what!), I know a lot already about presenting. However, I'm super rusty and clam up in front of classes. Hearing all these great ideas and techniques from fellow librarians was really helpful. I even wrote down some cheesy quotes to take back with me as reminders when I get discouraged. It's like, who the hell is this person that has taken over my body? As much as I dread teaching normally, I'm very passionate about education and the ability to change someone's life (even if it's just with a database). So being here is helping get me super-motivated for the fall semester. I'm excited to try out all these new methods. Now if only I can get over my lack of confidence in approaching my faculty about new sessions I have developed.

Speaking of no confidence, I am yet again reminded that my profession has a serious serious dearth of confidence. I'm listening to these people in my group, who are obviously very intelligent individuals, and they sound so beaten down! This one woman in particular is so discouraged by her faculty being unresponsive, and it has really messed with her confidence level about teaching. I feel bad for her, and at the same time it makes me realize just what a good job I am doing. I wish librarians were more assertive about their talents and stopped letting some snooty faculty members push them around. I want librarians to stop being so concerned about stupid stereotypes (that no user cares about anyway) and just present the persona of who they are. I hate hate hate the whole idea of telling students over and over "we aren't all old ladies I swear! We won't shush you I swear!" That only instills the idea that maybe some librarians will. Just go out there and be who you are and do a damn good job at it and stop sniveling about how you think others might think you suck! And that concludes my pep talk to my fellow librarians.

As much as this conference is exhausting, as much as I'd totally rather be with my pals (it is a Saturday night after all and Rescue Dawn opened up last night in Chicago), and as much as I say I don't like teaching, I've really gained so much in just these 2 days. And there are 4 more left. I'm so glad my boss forced me to apply for and attend this institute. I think this is one of the most amazing career decisions I have made or will ever make. Thanks boss! Thanks me for knowing all along that librarianship was my destiny! Thanks MPL for giving me that job when I was 18 so I could find all this out and not get stuck in a job I don't give a shit about!

I can't even imagine what it is like to either not know what you want to do with your life or to be in your career path and not really give a shit. True I slack off at work and very intentionally picked a career that wouldn't stress me out or force me to work long hours. However, I am more passionate about this than anything in my life when I really get to thinking about it. I may not be a musician or an artist that everyone loves like all my friends are, but I'm doing something pretty damn amazing for the world by being an educator and a keeper and disseminator of knowledge. I'm proud of myself and my profession.

And holy shit was that a corny last paragraph of hokey-ness. All this motivational speaking here has infected me.