another boring dumb update

Work is going really well. I somehow became default web lady for the time being until the new web librarian gets hired. That's ok, it keeps me occupied until the semester starts and I'm freaky busy. I'm still loving my job.

Been super busy all week. Monday was the WWB Sox Game Outing. It was a good time, and extra nice that its so close to my job. Tuesday was movie watching with an acquaintence, and tonight was Project Runway with JP. No free nights ever! Thursday is Twin Peaks/Mexican food (the usual) night with Joe. This social life isn't helping my super exciting creative project I came up with a few weeks ago. I'll try and get it started this weekend...

I'm not sure why I dwell on my failures so much. I'm no shithead, I've done a lot and done it very successfully, so why do I get so hung up on rejection? It'd be nice to be able to fix that. Sometimes I keep going after something post rejection even when I'm not interested just because I have to prove I can get it. That's such a waste of energy.

Interesting how being busy makes this blog even shittier and more boring than it already is.

CA brings you the news

After my recent experimentation with ringback tones (Bossy on the weekends, I keep forgettin' during the week), I found this article about racist ringtones in South Africa rather interesting. The concept of banning racist terms in countries with a history of government-sanctioned racism has always been fascinating to me. We had government-sanctioned racism until the '60s (and arguably still today) and have no bans on racist terms. Was slavery, Jim Crow, seperate but equal, and segregation not enough to deem some words illegal? Or is it that our freedom of speech trumps that, whereas other nations don't have as broad of a right to free speech as we do (which we all know is narrowing by the second)? This is something I need to read up on more.

Also on a technology related, but much less political, matter: A downed MySpace makes headline news. This is incredible to me, that a social networking site that is primarly used for band promotion and stalking past High School classmates or current crushes can have such power. Its pretty crazy that if its down for a few hours BBC has to write about it. A full article no less. I must admit that when I got bored yesterday and was going to bum around on MySpace I was mildly annoyed at its outage. However, it gave me the opportunity to turn off the computer and do a much needed house cleaning. Blackouts do have their positive sides.

cool cab ride

Sometimes these little things happen that cannot be described as anything other than near magic, in the dorkiest most positive sense. Last night I took a cab to the Black Rock to meet some friends. The cab driver seemed pretty cool, but still your typical cab driver. We get to the next intersection where this SUV tells us to pull down our windows and turn off our music. They then proceed to blast The talking Heads "This Must be the Place", my all time favorite song, and ask the cab driver if he likes it. He says its a nice happy groove, and they agree about how happy the song is and dance in their seats. I forgot about any lame worries and just sat in this strangely euphoric moment as long as the red light would let me.

As we parted ways with the SUV, the driver then started blasting rap and old funk, which ruled. He got a 100% tip. I'm not fully able to describe this tiny experience, but it was damn awesome.

Etsy-izing my office

Thanks to JP, I spent all night on Etsy shopping like a mad woman. I figured I should get some stuff to decorate the office, and I bought these three spray painted records from Walrus Rider, who is coincidentally a San Franciscan. Anyway, I purchased these three:





I will have the coolest office on EARTH. Or at least in my library, which frankly, is NOT hard to do.

Good things

My first two days on the job have been incredible! I got taken out to lunch yesterday, have lots of cool tasks on the horizon, and everyone has been very nice. I have a lot in common with a few of them, which means work will be fun. I also have my own office, so I'm not always being watched over. Thats one thing thats new about this job - I'm treated very professionally. I was at my last job too, but I still felt the clear division between me and my superiors. Here I am one of the Big Kids, so I come with automatic respect. Love it! Its amazing how a job has such an impact on my life. When I love my job I am 110% happier. This doesn't apply to jobs I am just ok with or tolerate, only if I like what I'm doing. I guess that makes sense because I'm there all day. With commute and the extended hour I spend there, I'm out of my house 11 hours.

Relatedly, I hired a daily dog walker. My guilt over Audrey sitting in here 11-12 hours a day, with no pee break and no exercise, was killing me I found a good discounted dog walker, who only lives 3 blocks away. We met today, and he is very nice. Audrey seemed to be ok with him, but was acting very bipolar. One minute she was nuzzling the next minute she actually really nipped at him hard. That was terrifying. Lots of dog services won't take your dog as a client if they show aggressive tendancies. But I think she'll be fine - as with everyone she just needs to get to know the person. So now she will get some time outside during the day, and I wont have to race home after work. In fact I can go OUT after work if I wanted! Amazing!

So life is good. Having the job and the dog stuff taken care of really makes me forget the other crap (bills, dudes) in my life.

Weekend update / new job starts Monday

Kevin showed up Saturday, and the heat was so awful we could barely get off the couch. We caught up while watching tv and basking in my new air conditioner. Then we saw A Scanner Darkly, which was good but I had moments where I had no idea what was going on. Maybe I need to read the book. I've never read any Philip K Dick books. After the movie we met up with an old coworker of Kevin's and ate at Feast, which is in my neighborhood. I had some seriously massive salmon with bbq sauce, avocados, and corn cakes. I was stuffed, but the suggestion of dessert at Hot Chocolate was one I could not turn down. There I had this peanut butter/chocolate thing that was so incredible and surely 1000s of calories. Whoops.

We then went to the Hideout to see a friend from college play, and to watch Bald Eagle do his thing. It was too hot for me to have tons of fun, but I enjoyed myself well enough.

The heat and the late nights took their toll finally, and today I've been completely exhausted. Our friend from HS, Liz, arrived after a wedding nearby with her friend Liz. We did some more lazy-ing around, and got dinner in Andersonville with some of Liz's friends. It was sort of hard for me to stay alert because I'm so tired.

Now I'm home preparing for my first day at my new job. Most of the morning will be my benefits meeting. The first few days of work are always a bit goofy. Not much to do yet and still a bit awkward with the coworkers. I think that may be one reason for these day long job interviews - I already know the people there pretty well after spending so long with them last month.

My new commute is going to suck - a very annoying bus ride due to its insane slowness and a long trip on the red line (which is pretty gross). It'll give me an excuse to read more I think, so theres at least that going for the new trip.

I'm really excited to start this job. So much so that I'm actually going to bed early tonight.

Somebody has a headache

I pulled a classic write-off last night as part of the "no-drama summer" rule. This should make me happy in that I'm sticking to what is really best for me. Instead I'm all pissed off that the situtation even happened in the first place.

Otherwise...the show was fun. I had enough to drink to bring on a hangover today. Now I'm just waiting for Kev to show up so we can avoid the heat together all weekend. Not sure it can be done, but the window a/c I bought should help.

tiring week

It hasn't been a particularly busy week, but I have hardly slept. I have two stories to tell, one about the intern/analyst relationship at my soon to be over temp job, and another about my problems with UPS all week. I'm too lazy to deal with them.

This weekend Kevin is here, so it will certainly be pleasurable. Last night some ladies came over to watch Project Runway. It was a pretty good premiere-this season looks like it'll be good.

Monday I went to a Yacht Rock viewing at the Empty Bottle. I noticed the male to female ratio was 4:1. Strange.

Tomorrow is my friends' band's CD release at Schubas. I'll try to avoid another trip to a 4 a.m. bar. However, that may be difficult because I'll want to celebrate being done with a crappy temp job and starting my real awesome Big Kid job on Monday.

Another ridiculous night

Friday I stayed in all night, and watched 24 hrs on craigslist and shopgirl. I was asleep by midnight! I think this early-to-bedness may have been why I was insistent on being ridiculous last night. JP and I saw the Strangers with Candy movie. It was pretty damn funny, although very much like the tv show-lots of hit and miss spots. But the hits were major hits. Then we went to the Hungry Brain for drinks, where some doofs wanted to hang out with us. We convinced them that we were in a band, Dick Wolf, and didn't have to work as a result. And that we were cousins. It worked pretty well! I had one of those experiences where I sat for so long I didn't realize I was getting drunk, so when we got up to go to the 5 a.m. bar, I was pretty toasted. I ended up staying out until the sun came up, which was a very strange experience. At the Underbar, I talked to some strange people and had to interrupt a heavy petting session that was taking place on top of the ATM. Whoops.

I also wore these cute new shoes I got, and they tore up my feet. Seriously bloody, so I was in a lot of pain most of the night.

In the end, I didn't go to bed until 9 am, had to wake up at 11 am for my grocery delivery, and am now feeling the hangover effects. Gross.

Tonight I'll be watching Twin Peaks, and attempting to stay awake during it. I'm at that point where I'm so exhausted I can't even sleep.

Just a tip...

Telling me you have a librarian fetish will NOT get you a date with me. Ever.

Boomtown Rats had Monday Right All Along

I have 7 work days left at my crudsville temp job, so I figured I may as well ease the boredom by writing my daily play list again. At fancy new job with fancy door to a fancy enclosed office, I'll be able to use my computer for music so you'll see it all on last.fm. Until then:

I got put in a most awful mood yesterday, hence the angry music most of this morning:
- Cursive - Happy Hollow (Listened to it twice - totally awesome!!)
- An Albatross - We are the Lazer Viking
- One animal collective song - prospect hummer. I always seem to LOVE one or two songs on their albums, meh about the rest
- The VSS - 21:51
- Pleasure Forever - S/T
- Cursive - Domestica
- Can - Tago Mago
- DFA1979 - You're a Woman, I'm a Machine
- E-40 - My Ghetto Report Card


I'm getting uncontrollably excited about starting my new job in a week and a half. It'll feel great to actually be challenged at work, to actually create something productive, and to make an impact on students. None of these things occur at my temp job. I'm even excited for the teaching component of the job - imagine me in front of a bunch of 18-22 year olds telling them how to use the library - lolzville. I swear I won't make it boring!

Now if only the rest of my life could come together the way my career is. Dating is clearly not happening, and if anything I've regressed quite a bit since getting here. People are getting flakey, or maybe they always were and I'm just now getting disappointed. And my diet is down the tubes. I need a roommate again to keep me on track. Oh well, I'm still having tons of fun and meeting new friends every week so whatever. I just have to change my expectations a bit, as in downgrade them to an extent when it comes to shit like returning phone calls or hell, even contacting me more than once a month. I'm finding if I stick to my No Flakes mantra, then I may have only 3 friends left.

I've been missing SF something fierce. I am thinking about taking a trip there in September or October, when the busy part of the fall semester is over and finals haven't yet begun. If J will be there over thanksgiving, maybe I'll do it then to avoid using vacation time.

I never liked poetry... (in which I engage in a major blog faux pas)

I've never enjoyed reading poetry. It's always seemed really pretentious if its current, really boring if its classic. And I have this image of poetry slams, which truly are what my version of hell would be if I believed in hell. So I've avoided it. Except for one poet, and only because I got the book as a birthday present from someone who meant a lot to me that I treated like dirt because of age, insecurity, stupidity, and bad choices. He gave me a book of poetry by Yehuda Amichai, a poet he discovered during his three years in the Israeli special armed forces. At first I thought, "oh no poetry, ugh" but began reading it anyway because of who gave it to me and the message he wrote inside it.

Poetry is hard to read in masses. You can only read a few at a time to absorb them. Therefore, I've never finished the book. Today, a lazy July day where no library books grace my coffee table, I decided to pick it up and get through a few poems. This was really difficult to do, and worse after re-reading the inscription that I had forgotten was in there years ago. I don't want to write the message here due to privacy, but I'm going to transcribe two poems I just read that were wonderful.

And have no fear, poems will NEVER be on this blog again.

For My Birthday
Thirty-two times I went out into my life,
each time causing less pain to my mother,
less to other people,
more to myself.

Thirty-two times I have put on the world
and still it doesn't fit me.
It weighs me down,
unlike the coat that now takes the shape of my body
and is comfortable
and will gradually wear out.

Thirty-two times I went over the account,
without finding the mistake,
began the story
but wasn't allowed to finish it.

Thirty-two years I've been carrying along with me
my father's traits
and most of them I've dropped along the way,
so I could ease the burden.
And weeds grow in my mouth. And I wonder,
and the beam in my eyes, which I won't be able to remove,
has started to blossom with the trees in springtime.
And my good deeds grow smaller

and smaller. But
the interpretations around them have grown huge, as in
an obscure passage of the Talmud
where the text takes up less and less of the page
and Rashi and the other commentators
close in on it from every side.

And now, after thrity-two times,
I am still a parable
with no chance to becoming its meaning.
And I stand without camouflage before the enemy's eyes,
with outdated maps in my hand,
in the resistance that is gathering strength and between towers,
and alone, without recommendations
in the vast desert.

Poems for a Woman, #7
When you smile,
serious ideas get exhausted.

At night the mountains keep quiet beside you,
in the morning the sand goes with you down to the beach.

When you do nice things to me
all the heavy industries shut down.

Windfall

My security deposit from SF arrived, and it is nearly twice what I thought it would be! I guess we paid a way larger security deposit than I remember. Regardless, it means I can pay my mom back, pay some credit cards, and not have to worry about rent getting messed up while I wait for my new job's pay cycle to kick in.

It also meant I was able to buy some new bags-I'm sick of my current ones. Got a new timbuk2 for the commute (I love the design your own function on there), and a plain grey tote for non-work functions. Yay! I'm becoming a bag lady, its scary.

Yesterday was JP's birthday! I took her to Earwax for dinner, and had a black bean burger. We split a good piece of carrot cake too. Then it was off to rainbo for drinks. We both got tired and cut out by midnight.

I woke up at 8 today and it was amazingly not awfully hot yet. Therefore, I took Audrey on a 30 minute walk, and then biked to Trader Joes for groceries. I just made blueberry muffins and am stuffing them down my face right now. I like to pretend the bike ride will make up for it...

I'm hoping for a BBQ later today.

Weekend update part 2

Last night I met up with some people at the Black Rock for a marathon game of Trivial Pursuit 90's. I really sucked at it. Lots of bad luck for team JP/Jannelle. Bad questions that there was no way were answerable. It was fun, if not a little long due to some rule changes that involve stealing pie pieces. I also rode my bike there and back. Riding your bike at 2 am is awesome. Too bad I forgot (read: drunk) to put on my lights for the ride home.

I just did some pilates and want to die. I haven't exercised, other than the occasional jog, in a long time. All the alcohol and Chicago food has caught up with me, and I need to get back to normal. Too bad I can't be 15 again and eat whatever I want all day.

I just loaned my sewing machine out, and as I was getting the stuff together for it I got excited to attempt to use it again. Now that I live alone, I find myself with too much free time. May as well pick up a hobby that is equal parts frustrating, fulfilling, and time consumming. Reading is only two of those things, and I'm running out of books I can think to read (must make lists).

Weekend update

Friday night was a good time. I went to JP's house, and we drank a bottle of champaigne and vodka tonics, and made a pizza. I also experienced the amazement that is frozen cheesecake bites! After a rousing episode of Law & Order, where DICK WOLF was formed, we headed to Schuba's for Steve and Bald Eagle's Smooth Music Night II. More vodka tonics, and my first Sparks since April. I am amazed that I didn't get violently ill after this horrifically strange combination of boozes and foods. As bar time approached, I didn't want to go home. I was then introduced to the infamous 4 am bars of Chicago that I have heard so much about. It was definitely gross with some strange folks, but it did the trick. I left pretty much blasted and went home to pass out. A 4 am night doesn't happen all that often for me anymore, it was strange.

Audrey didn't really appreciate my desire to sleep beyond 6:30 this morning, so I haven't slept much. Thats ok, she was pretty neglected yesterday so I needed to spend quality time with her.

I rode my bike to Target and wasted more money. I need to stop going there. I also need to clean my apartment-there is mail and junk everywhere. Unfortunately I don't have any motivation because nobody ever comes over here. I need some visitors to get me cleaning.

Not sure whats up tonight. Perhaps a game night at Jennys.