Pub Quiz, and Blogging vs the Sexes

I partook in my first pub quiz ever last night. My team was JP, Matt, and me. We did pretty miserable. I think we got 15th place out of 17 teams. Oh well! It was a lot of fun. I had no idea pub quizes were fun! Kept me occupied for a few hours, I sort of used my brain, and I laughed a lot. I'll go next week, and our team will dominate. I'll even study in advance.

Time to discuss my blog content as of late. Or my blogging history, perhaps. I've had a blog for 6 years. First few years were basicall nonsense - college friend drama, drunkenness, school procrastination and whining. Whatever. I look back at those and sort of laugh. Then I moved to San Francisco, and it was really bleak. Boring writing, mostly "what I did today" stuff that was really boring because I had two friends. Not much thinking behind any of the posts. Probably some more whining about grad school. I'm a big whiner, oh well.

So now onto today. Since moving to Chicago, I've gone through a lot. A break-up, a major cross-country move, job search, new apartment, new friends, new debt. Almost any stressful situation other than the death or a loved one or physical assault has happened to me. I have a lot of time on my hands to write now that I'm alone, and a lot of stuff to work through as I start my new life. And in some way that I don't understand, putting my thoughts on here has really helped me to think about my issues better. So as a result, my blog becomes one that gets mocked to no end I'm sure, just as I mock other emotionally open blogs.

But here's where it get's strange. I've had several females, even females I don't know, make an effort to tell me "thanks" for my blog. I've heard lots of "I'm going through the exact same problems" or "I wonder about those things too" and "I really appreciate your writing about these things, I don't feel so alone about my troubles now." When I hear those things, I feel really good about myself. Like I'm helping facilitate discussion and consoling other women that I think are awesome. The Women's Studies phrase "consciousness raising group" comes to mind when I get in these discussions with people regarding some content on here. And I remind myself of what these women have said to me whenever I write something that may be embarassing. And largely because of these talks, I continue to be open.

Then on the opposite end, my male friends (as far as I can surmise, they don't talk to me about it) just make fun of it. You can see it in the comments the guys leave, the little jabs. And that's cool, I can take it. I'm not looking for support from them specifically. I laugh at some of the shit on here too. What I don't understand though, is this division among the sexes. In many ways, it only reiterates sex stereotypes: men don't like sensitive talk, women only want to talk about feelings. Or perhaps mid-20s males don't have the same issues facing them that mid-20s females do? Or maybe my guy friends aren't making fun of me, and I'm just paranoid, and they are just too timid or quiet to talk to me about anything I've said on here.

Writing this post has made me feel self-consciously self-important, and I don't think that my blog is that important. You can tell by the low number of hits I get in a day (around 30). I'm just thinking about some in-depth conversations I've had as a result of things I've written.

However, I'd love to be able to talk to more people about some of these things so I don't feel so alone in some problems. Alycia has been wonderful for much of it and extremely supportive of me writing, but there are more of you out there I know. I don't know why making this public is more therapeutic for me than writing in a personal journal (which I've never had the motivation to do), but it is and so I keep doing it.